Some people believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of school children is to make physical education compulsory in all schools. Others, however, think that this would have little effect on overall health and other measures are needed. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The one
of the highly controversial Correct article usage
One
issue
today relates to whether physical Fix the agreement mistake
issues
education
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
either
mandatory in the Correct word choice
apply
school
curriculum or not. Nevertheless
, this
subject have
less impact on Change the verb form
has
health related
issues and some other measurements should be taken. In Add a hyphen
health-related
this
essay, I am going to examine this
question from both points of view and then
giving
my opinion on the matter.
One Change the form of the verb
give
school
of thought holds that the well-being of school
kids should be improved through teaching them physical education
in their daily routine
. The prime reason for believing Fix the agreement mistake
routines
this
is that it increases the physical fitness and boosts mental
Correct article usage
the mental
health
of the children
. As well as
, it promotes a healthy lifestyle such
as taking good
diet, doing exercise and yoga and pursuing sports activities. Correct article usage
a good
In addition
to this
, it also
teaches how to stay and work in a team with full co-operation
along Correct your spelling
cooperation
wtih
maintaining discipline in the lives of Correct your spelling
with
children
.
On the flip side, other sections of society claim that making PE compulsory does not address underlying dietary issues or sometimes it could lead to negative impacts for less athletic children
. To illustarte
Correct your spelling
illustrate
this
, a survey has been
conducted in Wrong verb form
was
United
Correct article usage
the United
states
and Capitalize word
States
United
Kingdom about a year ago, which shows Correct article usage
the United
the
80% Correct determiner usage
that
school
Change preposition
of school
children
who have studied with
Physical Change preposition
apply
education
, they
might not have Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct article usage
a significantly
significantly
impact on their Change the adverb
significant
overall
health
without some broader lifestyle changes.
Furthermore
, some alternative measurements
should be adopted for improving Replace the word
measures
children
's well-being.
firslty
, schools must Correct your spelling
Firstly
implementing
more holistic Change the verb form
implement
be implementing
health
programmes which address the mental, emotional and physical health
of infants and giving
access to mental Change the verb form
give
be giving
health
resources as well. what's more, fostering such
environments for kids which
helps to reduce their stress and encourage them in physical activity in Correct pronoun usage
apply
fun
and enjoyable way.
In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of the Add an article
a fun
arguement
, I think that both these views have their merits. On balance, Correct your spelling
argument
however
, it is felt that, although
physical education
is indeed important among school
kids, it must be part of a mutlifacted
approach that Correct your spelling
multifaceted
multi-faceted
also
icludes
Correct your spelling
includes
education
on nutrition and mental support as well.Submitted by deepnimrat553 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar & Spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism. For example, 'The one of the highly controversial issue today relates to...' could be corrected to 'One highly controversial issue today relates to...'.
Specific Examples & Development
Develop your argument further by providing more specific examples and elaborating on the alternatives to physical education in more detail. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more complete response to the prompt.
Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can help your essay to be more cohesive and easier to follow.
Balanced Argument
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.
Effective Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and delivers a clear opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!