IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that criminals should be given longer term imprisonment, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A handful of individuals believe that the
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 could be reduced by putting criminals behind bars for a longer duration. I strongly disagree with the statement
while
Linking Words
 punishing offenders is important, it is not the only way to improve violations. Instances of murder, robbery, and theft are increasing at an exponential
rate
Use synonyms
 though the offenders are punished and imprisoned that does not help in lowering the
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
. One of the primary reasons for increasing wrongdoing is poverty since basic human needs are not met , they get inclined towards committing a
crime
Use synonyms
. Why developing countries like Pakistan & Iran have
such
Linking Words
 high
voilations
Correct your spelling
violations
, it is
due to
Linking Words
 people not having access to basic amenities
such
Linking Words
 as food , education , housing and so on. If the government works on reducing the social
economic
Correct word choice
and economic
show examples
 imbalances by providing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
basic amenities
then
Linking Words
crime
Use synonyms
 rates can definitely go down.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is a direct correlation between unlawful
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
 and unemployment.
For instance
Linking Words
, developing nations always show 60% higher
crime
Use synonyms
 rates than developed nations as the economy cannot sustain employment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all individuals. Since people do not have a regular source of income, they get easily swayed to commit
such
Linking Words
 gruesome
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
 as they need finances to sustain the needs of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 family. Sweden has
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 low
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 unemployment
rate
Use synonyms
 of 5%. In conclusion, increased illegal acts are a true representation
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how well a nation is doing economically and socially. Providing better employment opportunities and taking care of the poor can lead to lower
crime
Use synonyms
 rates

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure your introduction more clearly presents your opinion on the topic to provide a strong foundation for your argument.
Linking Words Usage
Utilize a variety of linking words to enhance the flow between ideas and ensure the essay reads smoothly.
Specific Examples
Try to include more specific examples that directly support your argument to strengthen your case.
Conclusion Impact
Consider revisiting your conclusion to more effectively summarize your argument and restate your stance, ensuring it leaves a lasting impact on the reader.
Understanding of Topic
Your essay provides a thoughtful perspective on the issue, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Essay Organization
You successfully organized your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Supporting Arguments
The main points are supported by general examples and reasoning, making your argument more convincing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitate
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • penalties
  • violate
  • root causes
  • reintegrate
  • recidivism
  • financial burden
  • crime prevention measures
  • overcrowding
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