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Band 4

Some feel government should invest in preserving minority language; while, others feel this is not good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#feel #government #minority #language #resources
The line graph illustrates the levels of international trading of Australia to 4 countries Japan, the US,
China
 and India over the period from 1990 to 2012.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the highest rise among all places where the goods were transported was shown in
China
,
while
 the rest remained far behind.
However
, Japan has taken the second leading place and kept
this
 position over the whole period. As it is stated on the graph, trading relations with
China
 took the beginning at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 point of less than 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, afterwards the quantities of products increased in 2000 and, eventually, it jumped from 5 to more than 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 within the decade. In 2012, it reached 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which is why
China
 is the country with the best export results.
On the other hand
, there is Japan,
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
export
Change the verb form
exports
show examples
 relations with Australia
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been unstable and
went
Wrong verb form
have gone
show examples
 down from over 25 to less than 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Least
Correct article usage
The least
show examples
 preferred trade destination countries are the US and India. Indian level
explicits
Correct your spelling
explicit
 the steady growth from merely 0 to approximately 7-8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
then
 it dropped to about 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 by 2012.
On the contrary
, Australia sent to the US more than 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 production in 1990. Over the next 10 years, it had ups and downs. Followingly,
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
 of goods sharply decreased
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 2 times by 2012.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear, well organised overview of the data. However, it's important to ensure that the introduction precisely outlines the main trends. Consider using a broader range of cohesive devices to enhance flow.
Task Response
When providing data, make sure to offer comparative analysis in addition to the descriptive statistics. This will enrich your analysis and offer deeper insights.
Task Response
Your analysis of the trends, particularly with China and Japan, showcases an ability to interpret data effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've successfully structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and an implied conclusion which makes the response easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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