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Writing Samples /
Band 3

the civic centre will be planned to change. there are two one is the existing and the other is the plan for new. summarize the in formation by selecting and reporting the main features and compare the two maps

#centre #change #two #plan #formation #features #maps
The two maps represent the changes that need to be made in
civic
Add an article
the civic
show examples
centre
. The first map outlines the current status of the civic
centre
 and the second one shows its proposed expansion. In
general
Add a comma
general,
show examples
 the
overall
 structure of
civic
Correct article usage
the civic
show examples
centre
 will remain
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, but some new additions are proposed to better utilize the space
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 two different
car
 parks
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 replaced with hotels and restaurants and
theatre
Correct article usage
a theatre
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 moving the
car
park
 underground.
Moreover
,
library
Add an article
the library
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 is demolished.
According to
 the
proposal
Add a comma
proposal,
show examples
 the
car
park
 on the north-west side
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 replaced with
theatre
Correct article usage
a theatre
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 so that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new entertainment is introduced for the visitors and
thae
Correct your spelling
the
 carpark on the
north east
Correct your spelling
northeast
show examples
 side
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 replaced with hotels and
Correct article usage
a restaurant
show examples
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 which are the new additions
in
Change preposition
to
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 the civic
centre
.
Concert
Correct article usage
The concert
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 hall and shopping
centre
reamins
Correct your spelling
remain
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
City
Correct article usage
The city
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 council will replace
exhibition
Correct article usage
the exhibition
show examples
 hall and the library on the hand is demolished and
exhibition
Correct article usage
the exhibition
show examples
 hall will be built there. A new addition will be
open
Correct article usage
an open
show examples
park
 and
underground
Correct article usage
an underground
show examples
car
park
. There will
however
 be no place for the students to go to
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 as it will be demolished.
Submitted by sananayyab91 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear summary of the changes planned for the civic centre. To enhance task achievement, ensure every key change is explicitly compared between the current and proposed plans. Incorporating a wider range of vocabulary specific to map descriptions could also provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your overview is good, showing a clear understanding of the main changes. To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will help the reader to navigate through your comparisons with greater ease.
introduction
Your introduction and summary of changes are clear, providing a good overview of the main features.
supported main points
Use of specific examples, such as the replacement of car parks with hotels and an underground park, effectively supports your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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