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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income which five European countries spend on food & drink, housing, clothing, and entertainment.

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income which five European countries spend on food & drink, housing, clothing, and entertainment.
#proportion #household #income #five #european #countries #food #drink #entertainment
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The table gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the percentage of monthly expenses in 4 different main expenditures in food and beverages, accommodation, clothing ,and entertainment of 5
countries
Use synonyms
 in Europe.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of consumers in
countries
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as France, Germany, the United Kingdom, Turkey ,and
Spain
Use synonyms
,spent on eating and housing which were double higher than on other goods.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest percentage could be seen in the category of dressing. In terms of living,the residential payment rate of people who lived in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, France and Germany
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the highest proportion especially in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 (37%) compared to
Spain
Use synonyms
 which spent approximately
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of that (18%).
While
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two
countries
Use synonyms
, Turkey and
Spain
Use synonyms
, needed to pay more for nutriment
instead
Linking Words
 which accounted for 36% and 31% respectively. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 clothes and entertainment were
minority
Add an article
a minority
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 for all
countries
Use synonyms
,the outlay of France and
Spain
Use synonyms
 were only 7% and 8% that spent the least.
However
Linking Words
, people were still enjoying their own amusement from 10% to 19% which was the next sequence followed the two main consumption. People in all
countries
Use synonyms
 would allocate the main expenditure for the general infrastructure
Change the word
first
show examples
firstly
Linking Words
 and
used
Wrong verb form
use
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for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 other unnecessary expenses
sequently
Correct your spelling
sequentially
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, spain with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion
  • Household income
  • Allocate
  • Basic necessities
  • Expenditures
  • Essentials
  • Economy
  • Living conditions
  • Standard of living
  • Cultural significance
  • Leisure activities
  • Financial prioritization
  • Noticeable trends
  • Unusual allocations
  • Society's values
  • Economic status
  • Illustrates
  • Highlights
  • Comparison
  • Analyze
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