IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income which five European countries spend on food & drink, housing, clothing, and entertainment.

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income which five European countries spend on food & drink, housing, clothing, and entertainment.
#proportion #household #income #five #european #countries #food #drink #entertainment
The table gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the percentage of monthly expenses in 4 different main expenditures in food and beverages, accommodation, clothing ,and entertainment of 5
countries
 in Europe.
Overall
, the majority of consumers in
countries
,
such
 as France, Germany, the United Kingdom, Turkey ,and
Spain
,spent on eating and housing which were double higher than on other goods.
On the other hand
, the lowest percentage could be seen in the category of dressing. In terms of living,the residential payment rate of people who lived in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, France and Germany
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the highest proportion especially in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 (37%) compared to
Spain
 which spent approximately
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of that (18%).
While
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two
countries
, Turkey and
Spain
, needed to pay more for nutriment
instead
 which accounted for 36% and 31% respectively. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 clothes and entertainment were
minority
Add an article
a minority
show examples
 for all
countries
,the outlay of France and
Spain
 were only 7% and 8% that spent the least.
However
, people were still enjoying their own amusement from 10% to 19% which was the next sequence followed the two main consumption. People in all
countries
 would allocate the main expenditure for the general infrastructure
Change the word
first
show examples
firstly
 and
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 other unnecessary expenses
sequently
Correct your spelling
sequentially
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, spain with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: