Write about the following topic: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, it is a noticeable phenomenon that businesses are more likely to highlight the innovation of their product.
Such
modern
trend, in my point of view, does more good than harm.
The Correct article usage
a modern
reson
behind it is obvious. Correct your spelling
reason
Firstly
, in this
ages
, with the advanced Fix the agreement mistake
age
development
of economy
, more and more Correct article usage
the economy
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
had
been established. Wrong verb form
have
Therefore
, the commercial environment becomes increasingly competitive. This
means that companies needs
to Change the verb form
need
continuosly
Correct your spelling
continuously
providing
new Change the verb
provide
products
to the public to ensure their occupation in the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, people
are experiencing a fast-pace
lifestyle with overloaded information and options nowadays. In consequence, Correct your spelling
fast-paced
people
make replacement easier and more frequently.
Admittedly, there are some disadvantages bought
by Correct your spelling
brought
this
development
, one of which is that it may contribute in
a bad influence Change preposition
to
to
the environment. Change preposition
on
This
may be resonable
to some Correct your spelling
reasonable
extend
because with the strong Replace the word
extent
impact
the advertisements may affect the audiences, Add a comma
impact,
people
may discard their peossessions
more frequently, Correct your spelling
possessions
possession
therefore
, more waste will be caused. For example
, there is a noticeable phenomenon that, people
would like to go after the trend to purchase
new products
, especially for phones or luxuries like Apple or Chanel. When a new product is released, less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
will choose to purchase
the old products
. In consequence, not only public
but Correct article usage
the public
also
the industries may abandoned
their old Change the verb form
abandon
products
, creating more waste that can harm the environment.
However
, I strongly believe that the advantages of this
phenomenon far outweigh the drawbacks. Firstly
, it is commonly recognized that a
positive competition among industries can boost Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
development
among them. If a company bring a new invention to the public and emphasised
it in Wrong verb form
emphasises
commercial
, it may encourage Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
other
to discover deeper in the professional areas. Fix the agreement mistake
others
For example
, when Samsung first brought out foldable phones, other brands like vivo and OPPO also
do
Wrong verb form
did
researches
and Fix the agreement mistake
research
pay
attention Wrong verb form
paid
on
the Change preposition
to
express
and innovation of foldable phones. Replace the word
expression
Furthermore
, brought more practical products
to the public.
Another compelling reason is that,
the Remove the comma
apply
emphasise
can Replace the word
emphasis
also
promote the economy
Replace the word
economic
development
of the country. Generally speaking, commercial
definitely can affect Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
comsumer
behaviour, and Correct your spelling
consumer
it
may not only boost the number of Correct pronoun usage
they
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
offers
more job opportunities.When the commercial Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
introducing
a new product, it stimulates the will of Wrong verb form
introduces
purchase
of the audience, therefore
, more trades will be made. Furthermore
, as a company earns money, it needs employees to work for them. Take Tesla for example
, when the electrical
car was introduced to the audience, it Replace the word
electric
no
wonder encouraged more consumers. Meantime, as the company state grows, more job opportunities have been provided.
To summarize, Add a missing verb
was no
while
opinions are devided
on whether Correct your spelling
divided
this
trend is positive or detrimental, I am convinced that there are more benifits
to consider.Correct your spelling
benefits
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Task Achievement
Ensure that main points are supported by specific, detailed examples. While you have mentioned some examples, further elaboration would strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a range of linking devices to improve the flow of your essay. While your essay progresses logically, more deliberate use of connectors could enhance the cohesion.
General
Proofread your essay to correct typographical and grammatical errors, as these can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed all parts of the task, presenting a clear opinion on the topic.
Content
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, with relevant arguments and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively used to frame your argument, showing a good structure.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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