Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as sahara desert and atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
These days
places
like Sahara
desert and Correct article usage
the Sahara
Atlantic
where Correct article usage
the Atlantic
conditions
are harsh are becoming tourist attraction
. Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
Although
visiting such
places
is dangerous and risky due to
harsh environmental conditions
but
there is a strong need to explore these areas because Correct word choice
apply
people
are living there and we should explore multi-cultural environment
.
The greatest benefit of visiting these Fix the agreement mistake
environments
places
are
exploring the wonders of nature and the natural reserves they have. It is a great adventure to meet the locals of these Correct subject-verb agreement
is
places
and exploring
about history of these specific areas Wrong verb form
explore
that
how they were colonized how Correct pronoun usage
apply
do
they Unnecessary verb
apply
manage
to live in extremely cold and on the other side very hot Wrong verb form
managed
conditions
. In these areas there are many types of attractions for example
in Sahara
desert there are various species of wildlife and with Correct article usage
the Sahara
this
it is Add a comma
this,
also
famous for desert rides that are the
famous excursions for tourists.
On the other side of Correct article usage
apply
discussion
sometimes Correct article usage
the discussion
people
cant not
bear the extreme Correct your spelling
cannot
conditions
and most people
die so exploring these places
is also
risking your life. Sahara and Atlantic are spread massively that exploring them without any guide is not a good decision. A real life
example of Add a hyphen
real-life
this
is from a book hitchhiking where too many people
died of thirst because they tried to explore the land by themselves all alone and were strayed.
To sum up
, there are both the advantages and advantages and in my opinion we should visit and explore these places
.Submitted by sananayyab91 on
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task achievement
Expand your introduction to include a brief outline of the benefits and disadvantages you plan to discuss. This will prepare the reader for the content of your essay and improve clarity.
task achievement
In discussing the benefits and disadvantages, try to link them more clearly to the question prompt. For example, mention specific ways in which exploring these harsh environments can contribute to or detract from the tourist's experience and the local environment or culture.
coherence and cohesion
Make use of paragraphing to distinguish between the discussion of benefits and disadvantages more clearly, improving the essay's organization and readability.
coherence and cohesion
Include a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This will provide a clear closure to your essay.
task achievement
You have effectively covered both benefits and disadvantages of visiting harsh environmental locations, which is central to the task.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, such as wildlife in Sahara and desert rides, which support your points well.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good attempt at creating a logical structure, but refining and clearly segmenting your paragraphs will improve it further.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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