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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
#process #bricks #industry
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Demonstrated in the infographic is information pertaining to the procedure of making
bricks
Use synonyms
. From an observational perspective, it is a simple process, commencing with
clay
Use synonyms
 moving through conventional stages to make
bricks
Use synonyms
 to culminate with a completed product ready for the building industry. The procedure commences for most brick production when
Use synonyms
clay
Add an article
the clay
show examples
 is
digged
Correct your spelling
dug
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 by the digger,
then
Linking Words
, goes through a roller after being put on
metal
Add an article
a metal
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 grid.
Next,
Linking Words
all
Use synonyms
clay making
Add a hyphen
clay-making
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 goes through a mixed stage with the synthesis of sand and water in order to create a liquid-solid mixture. The following steps involve the combination being shaped by mould or being cut by
wire
Correct article usage
a wire
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 cutter. Preparing
bricks
Use synonyms
 for production is the focus of the latter steps in the sequence. All
bricks
Use synonyms
 will be dried in
drying
Correct article usage
a drying
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 oven
about
Change preposition
for about
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 24 hours to 48 hours.
Next,
Linking Words
brick production
are
Change the verb form
is
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 heated by kiln. At
this
Linking Words
 stage, there are two
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 that
bricks
Use synonyms
 will be heated
in
Change preposition
at
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moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
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 level and
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 level.
Then
Linking Words
, they are
colded
Correct your spelling
cooled
scolded
by
Change preposition
in
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cooling
Correct article usage
a cooling
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 chamber. The whole process will be completed when
clay
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 turned into
bricks
Use synonyms
 and packaging to
ready
Add a missing verb
be ready
show examples
 for delivery.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next, ".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks, clay with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • manufacture
  • bricks
  • building industry
  • process
  • dig
  • prepare
  • clay
  • mold
  • shape
  • dry
  • fire
  • kiln
  • cool
  • package
  • fired
  • overview
  • importance
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