You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter describe the problem with the equipment explain how this problem is affecting your work say what you want the shop or company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to you regarding a recent purchase I

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

from your shop on March 12 2024 I bought a laptop from your store unluckily the equipment did not work when I tried to use it, despite following the instructions carefully.

This

is a laptop I

extremely

Rephrase

really

show examples

like . It has beautiful

color

Fix the agreement mistake

colors

show examples

new

Add a missing verb

is new

show examples

and compact,

Correct word choice

and expecially

show examples

expecially

Correct your spelling

especially

cheap. I bought it when it was on sale.

However

, I was

suprised

Correct your spelling

surprised

, one problem that I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

encountered

Verb problem

was that

show examples

Verb problem

was

show examples

not active when I first opened it. The screen is dark or blurred.

Keyboard

Add an article

The keyboard

A keyboard

show examples

can not press. I preserve it very carefully. I would appreciate it if you could let the staff come home and solve the issue. Because of

this

is extremely important to me. I can not work without a laptop. I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Sincerely. Ms Hue

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Fri Apr 19 2024

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Task Achievement

You've done well to include all necessary components pointed out in the task. However, try to expand on each point with more detail to clearly explain the issue, its impact, and your expectations.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider organizing your ideas more fluently. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, ensuring a smooth transition between them for better clarity.

General

Pay attention to grammatical errors and typing mistakes, such as 'I make' instead of 'I made', 'do not active' instead of 'does not activate', and the correct use of past tense to improve the letter's professionalism.

Content Relevance

Effectively conveyed the urgency and importance of the equipment for your work.

Tone

The polite tone throughout the letter is suitable for the situation, showing respect while expressing dissatisfaction.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

152 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Structure your letter

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

Organised tours to remote places and communities are increasingly popular. Is this a positive or negative development for the local people and the local environment?