IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Topic: The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

Topic: The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
#topic #change #prices #three #metals
The supplied graph demonstrates how many changes have happened
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of three metals
such
 as zinc, copper and nickel in 2014.
Overall
; nickel started with the highest price but ended
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 lowest
to compare
Change the verb form
compared
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 to the others,
while
; copper has the completely opposite situation.
Moreover
;
zinc
Correct article usage
the zinc
show examples
 line has
been fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
show examples
 these months.
According to
 the graph; the price of nickel was 6 per
cent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 January. it fell down to 1
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 May, and it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
steadily passed for the next month.
In addition
; it
sudden
Change the word
suddenly
show examples
 fell to -3 per
cent
 in June and went up to -1
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 July. The trend
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was stable until September, and decreased
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
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 October but
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 a spurt
growth
Change preposition
of growth
show examples
 for the
last
 month. Zinc rose to 3 per
cent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 February, and it gradually peaked
down to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 -1 per
cent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 June.
However
; it had a little growth for three months,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 came back to -1 the same as past. The line briskly came up to 2 per
cent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 December. Copper started from 2 per
cent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 January, and it was in fluctuated until July.
Furthermore
; the line was
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
 for 1 per
cent
 until September but it had a reduction
then
 increased to
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 2 per
cent
 for the
last
 month.
Submitted by abhari1997 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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