Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and development soft skill in more important Discus both views and give your opinion?

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Nowadays a group of people think the correct way to get a
job
Use synonyms
is to acquire a university degree,
while
Linking Words
some may argue that experience and skill development
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more important. I believe that developing skills and talents is more necessary.
This
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essay will talk about either side. On the one hand, completing tertiary education is
recommend
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recommended
show examples
by many to get a
job
Use synonyms
.
This
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is because educating and specializing in the
field
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can lead to many opportunities in the respective
field
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. Young students through universities get
privilege
Add an article
the privilege
show examples
to many workshops and classes which will help them hone their knowledge.
For example
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, in a recent survey conducted by The Times of India, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies hire employees based on their level of education in the required
field
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, developing soft skills and
hands on
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hands-on
show examples
experience can increase confidence and help young people to approach their work comfortably, it can help students identify their talents and choose the appropriate work for them.
This
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is because
,
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apply
show examples
students at a young age are trained in a particular
field
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and that gives them ample time to understand the structure of the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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.
For instance
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, a high-profile
business man
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businessman
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named Barry Allan
,
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apply
show examples
mentioned in an interview that he started sales right after graduating high school and that
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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him to become a
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
of
such
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caliber
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calibre
show examples
. In conclusion, both obtaining
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
tertiary education and attaining soft skills are equally important
becoming
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to become
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a
well established
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well-established
show examples
individual in your
job
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, the decision should be taken after properly contemplating and researching the requirements of the
job
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that you are interested in choosing.
Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on

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Task response
Ensure balance in discussing both views before stating your opinion to provide a comprehensive analysis.
Coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow.
Task achievement
Integrate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Introduction
Effectively introduced the topic and outlined both perspectives along with your opinion.
Example use
Used relevant examples to support your points, demonstrating good understanding of the topic.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reiterating your personal stance.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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