Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and development soft skill in more important Discus both views and give your opinion?

Nowadays a group of people think the correct way to get a
job
is to acquire a university degree,
while
some may argue that experience and skill development
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more important. I believe that developing skills and talents is more necessary.
This
essay will talk about either side. On the one hand, completing tertiary education is
recommend
Change the form of the verb
recommended
show examples
by many to get a
job
.
This
is because educating and specializing in the
field
can lead to many opportunities in the respective
field
. Young students through universities get
privilege
Add an article
the privilege
show examples
to many workshops and classes which will help them hone their knowledge.
For example
, in a recent survey conducted by The Times of India, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies hire employees based on their level of education in the required
field
.
On the other hand
, developing soft skills and
hands on
Add a hyphen
hands-on
show examples
experience can increase confidence and help young people to approach their work comfortably, it can help students identify their talents and choose the appropriate work for them.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
students at a young age are trained in a particular
field
and that gives them ample time to understand the structure of the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
For instance
, a high-profile
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
named Barry Allan
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
mentioned in an interview that he started sales right after graduating high school and that
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
him to become a
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
of
such
caliber
Change the spelling
calibre
show examples
. In conclusion, both obtaining
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
tertiary education and attaining soft skills are equally important
becoming
Change the verb form
to become
show examples
a
well established
Add a hyphen
well-established
show examples
individual in your
job
, the decision should be taken after properly contemplating and researching the requirements of the
job
that you are interested in choosing.
Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
Ensure balance in discussing both views before stating your opinion to provide a comprehensive analysis.
Coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow.
Task achievement
Integrate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Introduction
Effectively introduced the topic and outlined both perspectives along with your opinion.
Example use
Used relevant examples to support your points, demonstrating good understanding of the topic.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reiterating your personal stance.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: