1.You have joined a new job recently. Write to your friend about your new job. In your letter •describe the reason for quitting the previous job •show your excitement for a new job and other details •say about your salary package

Dear Konsti How are you? I had left my job in
factory
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a factory
the factory
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and got a new position in town. Three months ago, our factory
having
Wrong verb form
had
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a new manager
then
everything changed after
personnel
Correct article usage
a personnel
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promotion. The looming global recession was happening, meanwhile, we had been cut a quarter of wholesale orders from China.
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The company
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Company
Add the auxiliary verb
Company has
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been forced to
faced
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face
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financial management like cost reduction. Allowance and bonus cancellation were just beginning.
Fowllowing
Correct your spelling
Followed
with
Change preposition
by
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a group of
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
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resignation.
On the other hand
, the rest of
employees
Correct article usage
the employees
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had
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
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workload but less
paid
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pay
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. I was too frustrated to keep
on
Change preposition
in
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this
position
due to
this
situation.
Fortunely
Correct your spelling
Fortunately
, I got a new occupation which is a laboratory technician
in
Change preposition
apply
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the next week after I resigned.
Correct article usage
The Comtitiveness
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Comtitiveness
Correct your spelling
Competitiveness
and distinctiveness of
brand
Correct article usage
the brand
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are part of
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
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I wish to participate.
In addition
, the wage is twice of my previous job
also
having
Wrong verb form
have
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bonus
Correct article usage
a bonus
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monthly.
This
is not only
a good news
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good news
a piece of good news
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but
also
a benefit to my
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
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.  I am excited to have a new start
as well as
our reunion. Keep in touch. See you soon. David
Submitted by d11206 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure to enhance readability and make your writing more engaging.
Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Consider adding more details or examples to fully develop your ideas and provide a more complete response to the task.
Task Achievement
You have successfully followed the task instructions by addressing all the points required.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriately formal, fitting the context of a letter to a friend.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall structure of your letter is logical, making it easy for the reader to follow your transition from one job to the next.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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