IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of Australians who had eaten ethnic cuisines from other countries from 1985 to 2010.

The graph below shows the proportion of Australians who had eaten ethnic cuisines from other countries from 1985 to 2010.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph illustrates how many
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australians
show examples
 eat various national cuisines of three countries during the time
period
Use synonyms
 from 1985 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the
Use synonyms
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 Italian dishes were the most popular among 2 other cuisines,
while
Linking Words
 by the end of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 Thai food experienced the highest percentage of people who
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 it. The figures of people who chose Chinese cuisine increased slightly over the same time
period
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, in 1985 year the figures for people who prefer Italian food accounted for around 9%.
Then
Linking Words
 there was a rise to 15% in 1995, and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 percentage declined slightly by 2% in 2005 before jumping to about 23% in 2010. Meanwhile, the figures for the Australian who had eaten Chinese food gradually
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 over time from around 8% and reached a peak of approximately 23% in 2010. Thai cuisine began from the lowest figure around 5% and fell slightly to 3% in 1995.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the percentage had a fairly steady growth to roughly 8% in 2005.
The it
Remove the article
It
show examples
 climbed significantly to 27%
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 and seemed the most popular choice in 2010.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: