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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#floor #plan #library #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The 2 pictures
illlustrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
differences
Correct article usage
the differences
show examples
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
Correct article usage
the central
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central
Capitalize word
Central
show examples
 Library
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
years
Use synonyms
 before and today. The layout seems no modification
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with 20
years
Use synonyms
 ago. There are 4 rooms located in 4 corners and some functional areas arranged in walkways. There is a computer
room
Use synonyms
 on the left of
entrance
Add an article
the entrance
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 and a cafe on the right of it. But 20
years
Use synonyms
 before they were Reading
room
Use synonyms
 on the left and Enquiry desk on the right. On the first left walkway, all
reference
Correct article usage
the reference
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 you can find now. on the
opposite
Add a comma
opposite,
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 you will find adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
,
information
Correct article usage
an information
show examples
 desk and self-service machines
all together
Replace the word
altogether
show examples
. Back
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
years
Use synonyms
 before, Adult fiction and non-fiction
books
Use synonyms
sit
Wrong verb form
sat
show examples
 on left and right walkways. In the middle were tables and chairs supplied.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the end of the library, you will find Children's fiction
books
Use synonyms
 and Storytelling events
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the left
room
Use synonyms
 with 2 sofas where was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
CDs, videos,
computer
Correct word choice
and computer
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 games
room
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
years
Use synonyms
before
Rephrase
ago
show examples
. The left
room
Use synonyms
 changed from
Children's
Correct article usage
the Children's
show examples
 book to
Lecture
Correct article usage
the Lecture
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 now.
Submitted by jxncindy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, room, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • layout
  • reading area
  • computer station
  • multimedia section
  • children's area
  • reference section
  • study cubicles
  • shelving units
  • digital media
  • technological advancements
  • user behavior
  • accessibility
  • traffic flow
  • modernization
  • community needs
  • conversion
  • allocation
  • removal
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