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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the percentage of four different fuel

The chart below shows the percentage of four different fuel
The line graph compares the amount of fuel, namely woot, coal,
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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used from 1800 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
expend
Change the verb form
expending
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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coal ,
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 rose, the wood fell over time. As the chart reveals, the coal
expend
Change the verb form
expends
show examples
 fuel started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 0
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 in 1800.
Then
Linking Words
 continued steadily growth around 70
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 between 1800 and 1900.
Change the spelling
Afterwards
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Afterward
Add a comma
Afterward,
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 the coal steadily declined
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
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 33
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 from 1900 to 2000.
The
Correct article usage
Oil
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oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
manage
Replace the word
management
show examples
 started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 0
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 in 1900.
While
Linking Words
gas
Use synonyms
 gradually increased,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
Use synonyms
 rapidly climbed
with
Change preposition
by
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 around 33
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 between 1900 and 2000. Regarding wood
consumer's
Change noun form
consumer
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 at the
begin
Replace the word
beginning
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 was applied 100
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 gradually plunged
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 5
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 from 1800 to 1950.
Then
Linking Words
 kept on slowly
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, gas, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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