IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the most important function of music is to help people reduce stress.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
it is true that
computers
Use synonyms
 have become an essential
tool
Use synonyms
 for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 in all
areas
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 are extremely useful,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not agree with the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
thye
Correct your spelling
they
 could soon replace
teachers
Use synonyms
 completely.
Body paragraph 1
it is true that
computers
Use synonyms
 have become an essential
tool
Use synonyms
 for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 in all
areas
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 are extremely useful,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not agree with the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
thye
Correct your spelling
they
 could soon replace
teachers
Use synonyms
 completely.
Body paragraph 2
it is true that
computers
Use synonyms
 have become an essential
tool
Use synonyms
 for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 in all
areas
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 are extremely useful,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not agree with the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
thye
Correct your spelling
they
 could soon replace
teachers
Use synonyms
 completely.
Body paragraph 3
it is true that
computers
Use synonyms
 have become an essential
tool
Use synonyms
 for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 in all
areas
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 are extremely useful,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not agree with the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
thye
Correct your spelling
they
 could soon replace
teachers
Use synonyms
 completely.it is true that
computers
Use synonyms
 have become an essential
tool
Use synonyms
 for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 in all
areas
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 are extremely useful,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not agree with the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
thye
Correct your spelling
they
 could soon replace
teachers
Use synonyms
 completely.it is true that
computers
Use synonyms
 have become an essential
tool
Use synonyms
 for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 in all
areas
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 are extremely useful,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not agree with the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
thye
Correct your spelling
they
 could soon replace
teachers
Use synonyms
 completely.
Body paragraph 4
it is true that
computers
Use synonyms
 have become an essential
tool
Use synonyms
 for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 in all
areas
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 are extremely useful,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not agree with the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
thye
Correct your spelling
they
 could soon replace
teachers
Use synonyms
 completely.
Conclusion
it is true that
computers
Use synonyms
 have become an essential
tool
Use synonyms
 for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 in all
areas
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 are extremely useful,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not agree with the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
thye
Correct your spelling
they
 could soon replace
teachers
Use synonyms
 completely.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is repetitive, which can distract from the message. Try to enrich your argument with unique points rather than repeating the same idea.
Task Response
Introduce more varied and specific examples to support your points. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
Task Response
You've confidently established your stance on the subject, reflecting a strong personal viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introductory sentence sets a clear topic and demonstrates an understanding of the significance of computers in education.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: