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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is repetitive, which can distract from the message. Try to enrich your argument with unique points rather than repeating the same idea.
Task Response
Introduce more varied and specific examples to support your points. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
Task Response
You've confidently established your stance on the subject, reflecting a strong personal viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introductory sentence sets a clear topic and demonstrates an understanding of the significance of computers in education.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Mobile phones, nowadays, contain essential features with entertainment also. There has been a large growth seen in the usage hours of smartphones among younger. There are several reasons behind this situation and ı find this development more beneficial than negative. Both the reasons and my view is elaborated further.
One's achievements are often viewed in terms of money and materialistic possessions by most people. I disagree with this as I believe success varies for different individuals and it’s not just based on how much wealth they are able to accumulate.
The idea of offering employees sabbatical time has become quite fashionable recently, with some major companies believing it has great benefits. However, there is also substantial opposition to the concept.
The role of governments in controlling access to media content has evoked diverse perspectives in recent times. While some argue that there should not be any restrictions on individuals' access to information, I advocate for a measured level of regulation.