Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors in major sports competition such as Olympic Games and football World Cup etc. It is better to spend money encouraging children take up sports at a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary
society
Use synonyms
, there is a significant debate regarding the allocation of funds in
sports
Use synonyms
development.
While
Linking Words
some argue for prioritizing investment in training professional
athletes
Use synonyms
for major events like the Olympics and the FIFA World Cup, others advocate for
channeling
Change the spelling
channelling
show examples
resources towards encouraging
children
Use synonyms
to engage in
sports
Use synonyms
from a young
age
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, I see merit in
both
Use synonyms
approaches, as each contributes positively to
individuals
Use synonyms
and
society
Use synonyms
. On one hand, investing in the preparation and training of
athletes
Use synonyms
for prestigious
sports
Use synonyms
events yields various benefits for
both
Use synonyms
nations and
individuals
Use synonyms
within
Use synonyms
society
Add an article
a society
the society
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, these competitions serve as lucrative sources of income for many countries, attracting a global audience and substantial tourism.
For instance
Linking Words
, when Qatar hosted the Olympic Games, thousands of spectators
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
to witness the event, boosting the local economy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these international competitions inspire countless young
individuals
Use synonyms
, who view renowned
athletes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as Messi, Ronaldo, and Mohamed Salah as role models.
Consequently
Linking Words
, many
children
Use synonyms
are motivated to participate in
sports
Use synonyms
like football, promoting physical fitness and well-being.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, promoting
sports
Use synonyms
participation among
children
Use synonyms
from an early
age
Use synonyms
has significant long-term benefits for their health and societal well-being. By investing in
sports
Use synonyms
infrastructure and programs tailored for youth, countries can encourage outdoor activities that alleviate stress and promote physical fitness.
For example
Linking Words
, providing
sports
Use synonyms
facilities in schools can help students unwind from academic pressures
while
Linking Words
fostering teamwork and social interaction.
Additionally
Linking Words
, engaging in
sports
Use synonyms
from a young
age
Use synonyms
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
values
such
Linking Words
as discipline and perseverance, shaping
individuals
Use synonyms
into responsible and resilient members of
society
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
both
Use synonyms
investing in training professional
athletes
Use synonyms
for major competitions and encouraging
children
Use synonyms
to participate in
sports
Use synonyms
from a young
age
Use synonyms
are crucial components of
sports
Use synonyms
development for nations and
individuals
Use synonyms
. Rather than viewing these approaches as mutually exclusive, a balanced strategy that integrates
both
Use synonyms
is imperative. By combining resources and efforts in
this
Linking Words
manner, countries can maximize the positive impact of
sports
Use synonyms
on physical health, e
Submitted by monahhj123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Continue to structure your essays with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to maintain a logical flow of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices (linking words, pronouns, etc.) to ensure the seamless progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
In your essay, ensure that your opinion is clear throughout, especially in the introduction and conclusion for a stronger task achievement.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.
Content & Ideas
You discussed the benefits of investing in professional athletes and the advantages of encouraging sports from a young age, presenting a balanced view.
Organization
Your essay maintains a good logical structure, making your argument easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • grassroots level
  • uncover hidden talents
  • sustainable sporting culture
  • healthcare costs
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • elite sports
  • fosters
  • unhealthy competition
  • engagement
  • initiatives
  • cost-effective
  • broader impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: