The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country

The line graph compares in a country the changes in ownership of electrical appliances in households from 1920

Change preposition

show examples

2019.

Overall

, The

percentage

of households with electrical appliances experienced different trends in the time period.

While

the

percentage

of Washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

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and

Vocuum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

country rose

with

Change preposition

apply

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some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

steady

Change the word

steadily

show examples

, the

percentage

Refrigerator

Fix the agreement mistake

Refrigerators

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grew sharply over time. As the graph shows, the

percentage

of Washing machine figure started at 40 washing machines in 1920 followed by

slow

Add an article

a slow

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increase to 70 washing machines in 1960.

Then

, It fluctuated steadily until 2019. Regarding

Correct article usage

the Vocuum

show examples

Vocuum

Correct your spelling

Vacuum

cleaner

percentage

, in 1920 started at

vocuum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaners and It increased steadily to 100

vocuum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaners in 2019.

By contrast

, the

percentage

refrigerator

Fix the agreement mistake

refrigerators

show examples

exprienced

Correct your spelling

experienced

only an

increase

Replace the word

increased

show examples

betweet

Correct your spelling

between

1920 till 2019. In 1920 the

percentage

of refrigerators started at 0

refrigerator

, but

this

number grew sharply to 90 refrigerators in 1960.

Then

, the

percentage

refrigerator

Fix the agreement mistake

refrigerators

show examples

rose to exactly 100 refrigerators in 1980 and

witnessing

Wrong verb form

witnessed

show examples

some growth between 1980

untill

Correct your spelling

until

2019.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat Apr 20 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, vocuum, refrigerator with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

166 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

1.Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?