Some people believe that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars and motor bikes . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
contemporary era, enhancing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
safety is a paramount concern
whereas
, some people are of the opinion that elevating the minimum
age
requirements for driving a motorised vehicle has garnered attention as a potential solution. I firmly support the idea
raising
Change preposition
of raising
show examples
the minimum
age
to hold a
drivers
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
licence
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an effective strategy to enhance
road
safety. To commence with, increasing the minimum
age
legally for using transportation can be effective on
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
grounds. To illustrate, youngsters and adolescents are more prone to
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
behaviours
due to
their underdeveloped
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
faculties. Increasing the driving
age
would allow these individuals to mature mentally and emotionally, resulting in more cautious and responsible drivers.
For Instance
, In Japan and Germany
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
has implemented the rule increasing
legal
Add an article
the legal
show examples
age
to 21 as it would lower the rate of accidents
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in juveniles.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, a kid does not understand the
consequencs
Correct your spelling
consequences
of
fatal
Add an article
a fatal
the fatal
show examples
accident. To explain, the advent of modern technology and distractions exacerbates the risk involved with young drivers. They often drive with being drunk without knowing the risk.
For example
, In
Nigeria
Add a comma
Nigeria,
show examples
a
thirteen year old
Add a hyphen
thirteen-year-old
show examples
boy drove his
Mothers
Change noun form
mother's
show examples
car onto an express highway and crashed
direcly
Correct your spelling
directly
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
a heavy truck. Many people died instantly and
injured
Correct article usage
the injured
show examples
were rushed to the hospital.
This
coud
Correct your spelling
could
have been saved if the child had been older and understood the tragedy of
such
situations.
Thus
, it clearly shows that underage children are incapable
to understand
Change preposition
of understanding
show examples
the grave consequences of an accident. In conclusion, it is evident that increasing the legal
age
for driving a car is a practical step for improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
safety since the minors have little knowledge about the possible outcomes. By providing
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
additional time to improve the
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
skills and to mature, the number of incidents can be reduced and can create a safer environment for individuals on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
.
Submitted by athulyaraj0011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Accuracy
To strengthen your essay, pay careful attention to your spelling and grammar. Although your argument is well-formed, these small mistakes can distract from your overall message.
Language Range
Using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures could enhance the sophistication of your essay. Try to incorporate more complex language to articulate your points more vividly.
Proofreading
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch any typos or minor errors. Remember, clarity is key, and even small mistakes can slightly obscure your meaning.
Structure
You've done an excellent job of structuring your essay with clear introductions, supportive arguments, and conclusions. This logical flow makes your argument compelling and easy to follow.
Use of Examples
You've effectively used examples to support your points, making your argument more persuasive. Including specific instances, like the example from Nigeria, really strengthens your case.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: