Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?
Crime rates across the whole world
rises
with each year. Many wonder, what are the causes for Change the verb form
rise
this
and what could be done to prevent this
from happening. This
essay will try to explain the reasons and give possible solutions for this
issue.
Firstly
, one of the main reasons for people
becoming an outlaw may be a lack of education. In other words
, very poor young people
with no access to schools usually end up having to commit acts of thievery and robbing as they cannot be accepted into various jobs and professions without a bachelor
degree. Change noun form
bachelor's
For example
, the
youngsters in third-world countries like the nations of Africa usually wind up with Correct article usage
apply
this
kind of fate. The solution to this
problem would be an improvement to the school system,
so that more children can get university level and find a job.
Remove the comma
apply
Secondly
, the other often mentioned issue is the social and racial discrimination towards people
of one group. Let me explain, people
of one group may be racially discriminated for
their skin Change preposition
against for
color
, race and other reasons that won't allow them to get an education or Change the spelling
colour
being
hired on a job Wrong verb form
be
due to
these issues which will leave them with no choice, but to steal to survive. For example
, black people
in United
States were often unemployed out of Correct article usage
the United
such
prejudices and as such
, most of them had to commit crimes as they did not have other
way to live. Correct quantifier usage
any other
This
issue could be tackled by removing racial and social prejudice out of people
by making such
discrimination lawless and hire
more tolerant Wrong verb form
hiring
people
that
won't judge Correct pronoun usage
who
people
by their race.
In conclusion, crime rates have been rising due to
poor education and discrimination which could be solved through different ways like improving the school systems or by hiring more tolerant people
.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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task achievement
Expand on examples to link them more directly to the general population, not just specific groups.
task achievement
Try to include more diverse and concrete examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Effectively introduced and concluded the essay, presenting a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
Provided a good structure with clear main ideas in each paragraph.
task achievement
Addressed the causes and solutions for the rise in crime rates comprehensively.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...