Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #education #years

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There are widely held differing views on the issue that

people

Use synonyms

should have a

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

education until they are 18 years old. I personally believe that there is no point to force

people

Use synonyms

to study

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they do not want to do that. There are two principal reasons for

this

Linking Words

. One point that I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that at that age

people

Use synonyms

already know what they should do with their lives. And there is a huge probability that students would not like to spend years studying subjects that they will not need in their lives.

Also

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

case, they will spend more

time

Use synonyms

procrostinating

Correct your spelling

procrastinating

therefore

Linking Words

, they will not improve

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

abilities that they have or maybe they will not be aware of their talents because of the

time

Use synonyms

they have spent studying. What I mean by

this

Linking Words

is the fact that

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

studying will not let them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

explore themselves. Adding

further

Linking Words

credibility to the statement brings to an idea of the uselessness of

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

studying until

people

Use synonyms

are 18 is the fact that children and teenagers will have less

time

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for socialising.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they can have some kind of mental problems and they can feel

loneliness

Replace the word

lonely

show examples

. Turning to the other side of the argument it is obvious that studying is extremely important for

people

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to be educated and

this

Linking Words

trains their discipline, too.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, it will be easier for them to achieve their aims. In conclusion, by taking into consideration all the above-mentioned reasons. I once again reaffirm my position that it

shoud

Correct your spelling

should

not be compulsory for

people

Use synonyms

to study

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

until they are 18.

Submitted by intiqam.hasanov on Sat Apr 20 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your task achievement, ensure that your ideas are developed more fully with more detailed examples or explanations. While your position is clear, deepening the discussion with more complex arguments or varied examples could enrich your essay.

coherence cohesion

While your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, using a wider range of cohesive devices and varying sentence structures could further improve the readability and flow of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear thesis and maintains a consistent position throughout, effectively addressing the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which contributes to the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world today. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is replacing fossil fuels. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and trasportation. Do the advantages of this devlopment outweight the disadvantages.