Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are widely held differing views on the issue that
people
should have a full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
education until they are 18 years old. I personally believe that there is no point to force people
to study,
if they do not want to do that. There are two principal reasons for Remove the comma
apply
this
.
One point that I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that at that age people
already know what they should do with their lives. And there is a huge probability that students would not like to spend years studying subjects that they will not need in their lives. Also
, in this
case, they will spend more time
procrostinating
, Correct your spelling
procrastinating
therefore
, they will not improve their
abilities that they have or maybe they will not be aware of their talents because of the Change the pronoun
the
time
they have spent studying. What I mean by this
is the fact that full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
studying will not let them to
explore themselves.
Adding Change the verb form
apply
further
credibility to the statement brings to an idea of the uselessness of full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
studying until people
are 18 is the fact that children and teenagers will have less time
for socialising. Therefore
, they can have some kind of mental problems and they can feel loneliness
.
Turning to the other side of the argument it is obvious that studying is extremely important for Replace the word
lonely
people
to be educated and this
trains their discipline, too. Due to
this
reason, it will be easier for them to achieve their aims.
In conclusion, by taking into consideration all the above-mentioned reasons. I once again reaffirm my position that it shoud
not be compulsory for Correct your spelling
should
people
to study full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
until they are 18.Submitted by intiqam.hasanov on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, ensure that your ideas are developed more fully with more detailed examples or explanations. While your position is clear, deepening the discussion with more complex arguments or varied examples could enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, using a wider range of cohesive devices and varying sentence structures could further improve the readability and flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear thesis and maintains a consistent position throughout, effectively addressing the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which contributes to the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!