The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There have been conflicting opinions
whether
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on whether
show examples
the ultimate aim of
science
is to increase the quality of human civilization. I completely agree with
this
statement because
science
brings
people
for better living and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jargon
such
as
scince
Correct your spelling
science
for
science
is dangerous for humanity. Scientific research brings
people
to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
. Previously, before
scientific
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the scientific
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revolution in
15
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the 15
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century, human civilization in many parts of the world used
supranatural
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supernatural
approaches in determining their
life
.
This
,
for example
, they
belived
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believed
believe
that rain
is
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was
show examples
God's tears and storm
is
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was
show examples
God's anger.
Consequently
, their
life
was surrounded
with
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by
show examples
unrational
Correct your spelling
irrational
beliefs.
However
, after
scientist
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scientists
show examples
discoveries
such
as Einstein, Rene
Descrates
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Descartes
, and Emanuel Kant,
people
have been moving to
rational
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a rational
show examples
approach.
Science
has a special role in human development in which
people
are more likely
using
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to use
show examples
scientific works for their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In order to see the weather,
for instance
, they do not use
uncestor
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ancestor
investor
beliefs
instead
rely on weather information from the government. Another reason is that the jargon
science
for
science
is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
human lives. Nowadays, there have been many countries that develop nuclear production
such
as the USA, England, Iran, and Germany. Considering the negative effects of
this
technology, particularly for war, it is important for scientists to take
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
into consideration as the priority rather than just winning a war.
In addition
to
this
, academic communities should be the
guardian
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guardians
show examples
againt
Correct your spelling
against
again
using
such
technology for war and other destructive objectives. The objective of scientific discoveries is
for improving
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to improve
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
life
because
science
brings
people
to
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
better and it is harmful when scientific communities just
using
Wrong verb form
use
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the jargon
science
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of science
show examples
for
science
without considering
human's
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human
show examples
orientations.
Submitted by salwafahanim on

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task achievement
Aim to present specific examples from recent scientific advancements or studies to support your arguments, making them more compelling and grounded.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Minor grammatical improvements can make your essay more polished and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and terminology accuracy, e.g., 'uncester beliefs' should probably be 'ancestor beliefs.', to maintain the professionalism of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Developing paragraphs with clear topic sentences that directly relate back to the thesis statement can help strengthen your essay's cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You've done a great job introducing and concluding your essay, providing a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
Your essay successfully covers the topic with relevant arguments supporting the thesis, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
You've effectively used historical context to support your argument, enriching the content of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
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