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Writing Samples /
Band 3

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
#process #sugar #cane
An illustration
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
depicts processing for converting to
sugar
 from
sugar
 cane .
Overall
, it involves
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
7 stages
begin
Wrong verb form
beginning
show examples
 with harvesting and crushing them to
juice
 and
then
 making
juice
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 syrup by heating up and
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 end into
sugar
 . It takes between (12 -18 ) months period for
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
.after
Correct your spelling
After
 that it
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 harvesting to put them
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
crushing
Correct article usage
the crushing
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 machine to get
juice
 from it , to purify the
juice
lime stone
Correct your spelling
limestone
show examples
 is added to filter it . At stage 5 , it
heated
Add a missing verb
is heated
show examples
 in high flame
juice
turn
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns
show examples
 into syrup through evaporation and
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 stage centrifuge divides
sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
show examples
 crystals from
syrup
Correct article usage
the syrup
show examples
 and
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 stage
sugar
 crystals
send
Wrong verb form
are sent
show examples
 for drying and cooling and
then
 it ready for consumption.
Submitted by nikhilguni on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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