IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Thanks to the development
on
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of
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 social
media
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, our communication methods have
been
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apply
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changed these days. Some
people
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 support
this
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 and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social
media
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 have negative effects. There are some
people
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 who recognize that
this
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 development has
positive
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a positive
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 impact on human lives.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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 think there are detrimental effects
on
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of
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 social
media
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both
perspective
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perspectives
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 and provide my opinion on the issue
about
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of
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 social
media
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.
To begin
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 with, Using social
media
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 allows individuals to connect with others whenever and wherever they like. In the past, it was not easy to keep in touch with someone
due to
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 the costs and times
sending
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of sending
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 letters or giving a call.
However
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, recently we can send
massages
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messages
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 more affordable through SNS services without investing any resources.
As a result
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, it has been easier to
built
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build
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 good relationships with family or friends nowadays.
In contrast
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, I believe that we need to think about some disadvantages
about
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of
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 SNS.
For example
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, the inclination of not having direct
meeting
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meetings
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 will decrease communication skills considering facial expressions or body
languages
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language
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, which may make human relationships weaker.
Moreover
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, using SNS leads
people
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 to a dangerous situation occasionally because we can interact with unfamiliar individuals. In that point, there is no doubt that many crimes through social
media
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 have
been occurred
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occurred
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 today.
As a result
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, we need to recognize that social
media
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 has some negative impacts and prevent accidents when we use them. In conclusion, there are both positive and negative effects on social
media
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,
then
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 individuals have to take great care of it when they
use
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use it
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. If
people
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 use it
with safe
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safely
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, it encourages
human
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humans
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 to make our lives more lively.

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Grammar
Ensure consistent use of tense and accurate verb forms to maintain clarity and professionalism in your writing.
Spelling
Be mindful of spelling consistency (e.g., 'massages' should be 'messages') to maintain the accuracy and professionalism of your essay.
Cohesion
Try to incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow and cohesion of your essay.
Specific Examples
Including more specific examples and evidence could strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
Content
You've effectively discussed both views on the impact of social media, providing a balanced analysis.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, summarizing the main points of the essay well.
Grammar
You've shown an ability to use a variety of sentence structures, which adds interest and demonstrates linguistic competency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant communication
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • data privacy
  • data breaches
  • mental health issues
  • excessive use
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • feelings of loneliness
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • public misinformation
  • societal harm
  • shared interests
  • engaged
  • foster communities
What to do next:
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