Some people think that wearing a uniform at work is essential whereas others think that it is unnecessary. Present your views on both sides of the argument.
Numerous individuals believe that wearing a
uniform
at work is crucial, but there are people who think in the opposite way. In my opinion, uniform
is necessary for workers Add an article
the uniform
a uniform
who their
jobs are in Factories or in crafts. Correct pronoun usage
whose
On the other hand
, wearing uniforms for employees who are working in companies is not important .
However
, when some humankinds
think that there is a Correct your spelling
humans
necessity
Replace the word
necessary
of
Change preposition
apply
the
obligation Correct article usage
apply
in wearing
special Change preposition
to wear
clothes
at work, they have many points in their minds such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
as
, they believe that the Change preposition
For
uniform
preserves their outfits
from being stained or old in a short period of time, because some positions create oil stains or change the colour of clothes
. In addition
, those people really believe that wearing a uniform
reduces their expenses in buying new clothes
many times a year as well as
conserves justice between workers, especially in Industries because some people are bullying
each other for appearances.
Wrong verb form
bully
On the other hand
, some individuals think that wearing a uniform
is not necessary because firstly
, they like changing their outfits
every day since they consider that clothes
specialisation for work is very tedious and increases the boring job routine. Secondly
, they believe that outfits
and fashions should be changed according to
the position level and occasions at the company, particularly if the employee is a sales representative or a lawyer in an organisation.
In conclusion, in my perspective wearing a uniform
for the workforce
who are employed in factories or whose Correct your spelling
workers
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
are
not Correct subject-verb agreement
is
clean
adequately is a good thing, but it's better for an employee to take care of his/her Replace the word
cleaned
outfits
by her/ himself when he/she works at a company.Submitted by amalalhoury on
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coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to better link ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your arguments.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt. Include more detailed examples and explanations to fully support your viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, demonstrating an understanding of the essay structure.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which aligns with the requirements of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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