One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The medical field is expanding and improving over time,and life expectancy is growing and people are living longer,the
accses
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access
to
a
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good health care is in the
hand
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hands
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of everybody,with the
devolpmening
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developing
technlogy
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technology
worldwide and
the
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apply
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better disease management.
While
its
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it's
it is
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now easier to get
a
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apply
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health insurance the fees could be
expinsive
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expensive
for some people causing a huge financial stress,as the
tendcy
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tendency
to get sicker increases as a person gets older
its
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it's
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harder to predict chronic disease.  Nowadays everything is changing fast,there are many new ways to treat an
illnesse
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illness
,doctors started using technology as a way to study and cure some diseases, for
exmple
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example
complicated surgeries that few
surgens
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surgeons
are able to do,with less expense and a wider chance for the
peopel
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people
around the world who needs
such
surgeries.
Further more
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Furthermore
show examples
,medicines are now made more specialised with a
higer
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higher
quilty.
Submitted by layan.oth.zhr on

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Content Organization
Try to clearly distinguish between advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs to improve the logical structure of your essay.
Content Structuring
Consider including a brief introduction and conclusion to frame your essay more effectively, offering a clearer stance on the topic.
Supporting Details
Incorporate more relevant examples and data to strengthen your arguments and provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.
Topic Understanding
You effectively discussed the advancements in medical technology and their impact on healthcare, reflecting a good understanding of the topic.
Vocabulary Usage
You've shown an ability to use topic-related vocabulary which enhances the quality of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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