The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

American
films
are very popular all over the world. Some
people
think
this
is a bad thing and that governments should invest money in their
film
industries to protect and develop culture. I think there are advantages to the
American
film
industry and I
also
think governments should protect
film
industries.
American
film
industry has a lot of money and
films
are expensive
make
Add the particle
to make
show examples
.
However
, because they have money the
films
are special and exciting and
people
enjoy
films
very much. Going to the cinema and seeing action
films
or science fiction is amazing for lots
or
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
people
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
I learn English from watching
American
films
and I think
this
is good for the future. But
American
films
are all
American
culture and
people
all learn what is right for America. Because
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
, young
people
now all want to be the same
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
American
film
stars and have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American
life. I think that
this
is bad for some countries that have different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and some things
maybe being
Wrong verb form
may be
show examples
lost. All
people
want to dress the same and act the same. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
I think the government can support
film
industries in their country.
This
means many
people
can learn traditional things and other values that are not in
America
Replace the word
American
show examples
films
.
This
would be very good for the
people
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
many
people
can
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work in
films
if there are
films
made in your country.
However
, I think
American
films
are good for seeing in the cinema and
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
exciting for
people
.
Submitted by sosokhurtsidzee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider expanding your ideas with more detailed examples and explanations to fully develop your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions to enhance readability.
general
Using a variety of sentence structures and more complex vocabulary can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
content
You have provided a balanced view on the topic, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of the American film industry's influence.
structure
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your position, showing good essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Americanisation
  • Cultural imperialism
  • Local cinema
  • Cultural diversity
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Film subsidies
  • National identity
  • Artistic expression
  • Blockbusters
  • Cultural preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!