Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, everything is changing, getting easier and becoming beneficial. Living in Cultural diversity has some advantages
instead
of disadvantages to society. I completely agree with
this
opinion that's told above. On the one hand, there are many bad points of living in Multicultural societies, where many
people
come from other countries or cultures and those affect our culture and society
such
as a girl or a boy who attends a Multicultural school
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
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across some problems like understanding, being confused or forgetting her or his tradition.
For example
in many countries especially in Uzbekistan
people
celebrate Christmas
funnily
Rephrase
more fun
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than their traditional holidays as the Navruz holiday. If the population of
this
country do not do anything to prevent losing it
and in
Correct word choice
apply
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they can not say or show their tradition to others.
On the other hand
,
among
Change preposition
apply
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the
people
who come from cultural diversity bring many good opportunities for the country and these opportunities help it to develop and be strong contacts with these countries.
For example
, Uzbeks know about Korean and American culture and many Korean and American
people
inhabit Uzbekistan so they can not have any problems with living and communicating.
For instance
, every year 5000 Uzbek
people
go to work in the USA and none of them has had difficulties understanding
,
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apply
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or communicating with their culture. In conclusion,
although
there are some problems with living with Multicultural
people
, has more benefits so I totally agree with these ideas that being among ethnic pluralism is interesting and useful.
Submitted by hamzayevasamina on

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Introduction
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Paragraph Structure
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Supporting Examples
When using examples, ensure they are directly related to your main points and clearly explain how they support your argument. This strengthens your essay by providing evidence for your claims.
Content Accuracy
Avoid overgeneralizations and be mindful of making unsubstantiated claims. It's better to focus on specific, well-supported points rather than broad statements that are hard to back up.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety in your writing. Using a range of sentence structures and vocabulary can enhance the clarity and sophistication of your essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument, reinforcing your stance on the importance of multicultural societies.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement that guides the direction of your essay, which is a good practice.
Use of Personal Examples
The use of examples from Uzbekistan and the interaction between Uzbek and Korean/American cultures gives your essay a personal touch and helps illustrate your points.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • cultural fabric
  • traditions and perspectives
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • tolerance and understanding
  • unity in diversity
  • cultural clashes
  • language barriers
  • multilingualism
  • integration
  • translation services
  • prejudice
  • diversity
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