Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, everything is changing, getting easier and becoming beneficial. Living in Cultural diversity has some advantages

instead

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of disadvantages to society. I completely agree with

this

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opinion that's told above. On the one hand, there are many bad points of living in Multicultural societies, where many

people

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come from other countries or cultures and those affect our culture and society

such

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as a girl or a boy who attends a Multicultural school

come

Correct subject-verb agreement

comes

show examples

across some problems like understanding, being confused or forgetting her or his tradition.

For example

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in many countries especially in Uzbekistan

people

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celebrate Christmas

funnily

Rephrase

more fun

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than their traditional holidays as the Navruz holiday. If the population of

this

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country do not do anything to prevent losing it

and in

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apply

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they can not say or show their tradition to others.

On the other hand

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among

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apply

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the

people

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who come from cultural diversity bring many good opportunities for the country and these opportunities help it to develop and be strong contacts with these countries.

For example

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, Uzbeks know about Korean and American culture and many Korean and American

people

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inhabit Uzbekistan so they can not have any problems with living and communicating.

For instance

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, every year 5000 Uzbek

people

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go to work in the USA and none of them has had difficulties understanding

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apply

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or communicating with their culture. In conclusion,

although

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there are some problems with living with Multicultural

people

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, has more benefits so I totally agree with these ideas that being among ethnic pluralism is interesting and useful.

hamzayevasaminaSun Apr 21 2024

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Introduction

Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction, providing a brief overview of your main points. This helps set the stage for your argument.

Paragraph Structure

To enhance the coherence of your essay, try organizing your paragraphs more effectively by having a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph, followed by supporting details and examples.

Supporting Examples

When using examples, ensure they are directly related to your main points and clearly explain how they support your argument. This strengthens your essay by providing evidence for your claims.

Content Accuracy

Avoid overgeneralizations and be mindful of making unsubstantiated claims. It's better to focus on specific, well-supported points rather than broad statements that are hard to back up.

Grammar and Vocabulary

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety in your writing. Using a range of sentence structures and vocabulary can enhance the clarity and sophistication of your essay.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument, reinforcing your stance on the importance of multicultural societies.

Thesis Statement

You have a clear thesis statement that guides the direction of your essay, which is a good practice.

Use of Personal Examples

The use of examples from Uzbekistan and the interaction between Uzbek and Korean/American cultures gives your essay a personal touch and helps illustrate your points.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural exchange
cultural fabric
traditions and perspectives
innovation
economic growth
social cohesion
tolerance and understanding
unity in diversity
cultural clashes
language barriers
multilingualism
integration
translation services
prejudice
diversity

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Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions difficult such as sahara deseret or the antartic .what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that ti is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.