IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress at work. They should only care about the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In recent
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, many employers
would
Verb problem
have
show examples
like
Wrong verb form
liked
show examples
 to
dress
Use synonyms
casual
Change the adjective
casually
show examples
 at
work
Use synonyms
 because the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
doesn't
concorned
Correct your spelling
concerned
concern
 how
people
Use synonyms
dress
Use synonyms
 for
work
Use synonyms
 . in
this
Linking Words
 statement ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain in
this
Linking Words
 essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree it
this
Linking Words
 reason.
Body paragraph 1
in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 era ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology rapidly
change
Change the verb form
changes
show examples
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 reduce
to hire
Change the verb form
hiring
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are
tried
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to use computer
instance
Fix the agreement mistake
instances
show examples
 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
for example
Linking Words
 , in many
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
publice
Correct your spelling
public
 transport
avoid
Correct subject-verb agreement
avoids
show examples
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to drive
trians
Correct your spelling
trains
 and buses
control
Wrong verb form
controlled
show examples
 by
AI
Add an article
an AI
the AI
show examples
 system .
In addition
Linking Words
 , the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
doesn
Correct your spelling
does
,t reduce in
regarding
Replace the word
regard
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 employers have to wear
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
uniform
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can
knonw
Correct your spelling
know
 where
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
you
work
Use synonyms
 and what kind of job do
work
Use synonyms
.
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
, if you
work
Use synonyms
 for governments
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 have to
dress
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
informs
Change the verb form
inform
show examples
 because
people
Use synonyms
 can know where
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 are working .
Body paragraph 2
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand , the
company
Use synonyms
dress
Use synonyms
causal
Correct your spelling
casual
show examples
uniform
Use synonyms
 . in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 fire the
buiding
Correct your spelling
building
 has collabs if we
dress
Use synonyms
 casual
uniform
Use synonyms
 it is difficult to check
identities
Change the noun form
identity
show examples
 information where you are from and what position
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
you
work
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
.
hence
Linking Words
, we cannot contract
people
Use synonyms
 has
connection
Add an article
a connection
show examples
 with you
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we should have
rule
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
uniform
Use synonyms
 to
dress
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 easy to check who are you.
Conclusion
in conclusion , I completely disagree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
 because if the government or
company
Use synonyms
 don't have their own uniforms it
hard
Add a missing verb
is hard
show examples
 to understand and check
Use synonyms
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
work
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 world we
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have to
work
Use synonyms
 along the
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
. It will have more
quality
Use synonyms
 in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
work
Use synonyms
.

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Structure
Consider structuring your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, arguments, and conclusion.
Coherence
Use topic sentences to clearly state the main idea of each paragraph, improving coherence.
Content
Provide specific, realistic examples to support your arguments for more effective persuasion.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Work on grammar and vocabulary to accurately convey your ideas. Errors in sentence structures and word choice can make the text difficult to understand.
Engagement with Topic
You engaged directly with the topic, demonstrating an understanding of its significance.
Positioning
Your willingness to express a clear position on the topic is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dress code
  • Professional appearance
  • Corporate culture
  • Freedom of expression
  • Productivity
  • Discrimination
  • Inclusivity
  • Diversity
  • Industry standards
  • Safety regulations
  • Employee morale
  • Job satisfaction
  • Attire
  • Corporate identity
  • Gender identity
  • Cultural sensitivity
  • Workplace norms
  • Employee well-being
  • Business etiquette
  • Professional conduct
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