Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Certain individuals suggest that young people should spend their leisure time
in
doing volunteer Change preposition
apply
work
. By doing community service they help themselves as well as
their society. From my perspective, this
is a great way to channelize
young people's energy in a positive manner and it will contribute a lot towards the betterment of Replace the word
channel
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
To begin
with, teenagers need a platform where they could
experience Wrong verb form
can
real-time
Correct article usage
a real-time
work
environment as well as
their responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
for
their society. Both of these experiences can be realized through social Change preposition
to
work
. For instance
, some medical school students work
as care aids in a hospital to gain practical knowledge which could assist them doing
their job in the future Change preposition
in doing
also
it serves the patients who get a reliable caring person when there are shortages of medical workers. Besides
this
, government
is not required to pay them an extra salary which helps Add an article
the government
further
to
allocate funds to other areas where there is Verb problem
apply
strong
need. Add an article
a strong
In addition
, a student gains knowlege
of how the hospital works and Correct your spelling
knowledge
learn
how to Correct subject-verb agreement
learns
work
in the
stressful environment.
Correct article usage
a
Moreover
, when a person works on something for free then
he or she learns the principle of delayed gratification. This
is something which every teen of this
era needs to learn. They are spoiled with social media which makes them habitual of the entertainment world and want their hard work
to be rewarded so quickly. To exemplify, some teenagers cleaned water bodies in their surroundings and at that moment they did not realize what they had contributed. However
, after years they witnessed how the locality's flora and fauna got restored and the area transformed into a tourist spot. Eventually, they learnt how delayed gratification works.
In conclusion, it is crucial to do volunteer work
during school days because it helps the individual to learn not only the moral values but also
to grasp experience
they need for their career. Correct article usage
the experience
Overall
, unpaid social work
leads to personal and professional development.Submitted by DIANA on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain clarity and enhance the coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Integrate a variety of sentence structures to keep the essay engaging and demonstrate linguistic range.
Task Achievement
Be specific when providing examples, as this strengthens the argument and makes your ideas more convincing.
Task Achievement
When agreeing or disagreeing with a statement, make sure to explicitly state your position in the introduction for a clearer stance throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
The use of real-world examples significantly supports your main points and demonstrates a deep understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example