it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents for instance for sports or music and others not.Discuss both view and your opinion

#people #talents #sports #music

Some people think that few

child

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children

show examples

are born with certain talents

while

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

believe that some kids

Verb problem

are

show examples

not born with certain talents

such

game

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games

show examples

, art, music etc.

This

eassay

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essay

will discuss both views and

further

give

relavant

Correct your spelling

relevant

examples in favour of both views.

However

, in my opinion, anything is achievable

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with

show examples

lots of

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

. In

former

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the former

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notion, the individuals who believe that some kids have in-built

talent

In other words

, there are children who have some kind of

talent

related to sports, singing, dancing, drawing etc., which is god-gifted. They do not need to do extra

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

. And they can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

excel in their fields.

For instance

, Sachin

Tandulkar

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Tendulkar

, a famous cricketer of India, who

also

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is also

show examples

known as

Magician

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the Magician

show examples

of cricket,

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

born with

sport

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sports

show examples

talent

and nowadays he is famous

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apply

show examples

all over the world. The

talent

of batting is god-gifted in Sachin. He just

practiced

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practised

show examples

right

Add an article

the right

show examples

direction, and now, he made his name all over the cricket world. Moving towards

latter

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the latter

show examples

notion, not every child is born with some certain

talent

. Some

also

get it by hard work.

For instance

, a survey ,conducted in the U.S. in 2023, reveals that the list of people who are very diligent can do any work with practice and under

right

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the right

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guidelines.

Moreover

, with the advancement in technology, everyone is very updated. If someone

have

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has

show examples

any hobby,

then

he/she will always try to move their life in that direction with lots of

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

and

also

attend classes online or offline in regards

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show examples

his/her hobby. So that, they can spark their life with some

talent

. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children who

born

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are born

show examples

with some

talent

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

doesn't

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don't

show examples

need to burn

their

Change the word

the

show examples

midnight oil, but children can

also

create some

talent

through their hobbies and interests at

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

age and do

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

their aim. I

also

believe that, with concentration and hard work, these kids can do very

good

Change the word

well

show examples

in their life.

Submitted by maliksheetal32 on Mon Apr 22 2024

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Linguistic skill

Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability and demonstrate a wider range of linguistic skills.

Grammar and spelling

Pay attention to minor grammar and spelling errors, as correcting these could make your essay clearer and more professional.

Argumentation depth

Although your examples are relevant, you could further strengthen your argument by including more detailed examples or evidence to support your views.

Paragraph transitions

Work on smoothly transitioning between paragraphs and ideas to further improve the flow of your essay, enhancing coherence and cohesion.

Opinion clarity in introduction and conclusion

Consider refining your introduction and conclusion to more explicitly state your opinion and summarize your argument, making your stance clearer to the reader.

Logical structure

You have provided a clear structure that logically presents both sides of the argument, effectively guiding the reader through your discussion.

Effective use of examples

Good use of examples, such as the reference to Sachin Tendulkar, which makes your argument more tangible and interesting.

Response completeness and balance

You effectively express your own opinion and manage to discuss both views, fulfilling the task requirements.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents for instance for sports or music and others not.Discuss both view and your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are the causes of this and what solutions can you suggest?

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field can have negative influences. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.