Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The increasing life expectancy can lead to a more experienced
workforce
, contributing valuable insights and mentorship opportunities. On some levels
it's good to keep older people in as Add a comma
levels,
workforce
but we should consider their mental and physical health as well. It has been prooved
that senior citizens need to rest and be retired after 30 years of working in society. It's not Correct your spelling
proved
morality
correct to force them Replace the word
morally
work
after Fix the infinitive
to work
age
of 55.
We can use their experiences and their ideas as an experienced old Add an article
the age
workforce
but they are not physicaly
and Correct your spelling
physically
mentaly
capable of working like a new member of Correct your spelling
mentally
community
.
It can be Add an article
the community
also
an optional idea for them. They can choose if they are capable of working like a normal youn
person or not. Sometimes senior citizens prefer to work and not Correct your spelling
young
staying
at home. In that Wrong verb form
stay
case
it's a great bonus for society to have them as Add a comma
case,
an
valuable experienced Change the article
a
workforce
. Offering a job to an older person is required with some bouandries
Correct your spelling
boundaries
such
as felixible
working hours, more working bonuses, higher income and out of stress workplace as well.
If they don'Correct your spelling
flexible
t
like to work in
Change preposition
at
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
levels
, Fix the agreement mistake
level
pension
system should be designed in a way that they don'Correct article usage
the pension
t
feel an obligation for working
. In Change preposition
to work
this
case, insurance
system should cover all of their Correct article usage
the insurance
expences
so that they won'Correct your spelling
expenses
t
be worried about lower income an
higher Correct your spelling
and
expences
.
Correct your spelling
expenses
As
Change preposition
In
a
conclusion, working for elder people shouldn'Correct article usage
apply
t
be a force because of economics
Replace the word
economic
unstability
, but should be Correct your spelling
instability
as
an option for them to be a part of Change preposition
apply
community
again or retire and enjoy the rest of their Add an article
the community
a community
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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task achievement
Craft a clear thesis statement to more directly present your viewpoint at the beginning. This helps readers understand your stance right away.
task achievement
Consider adding specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. Real-world examples can make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Transition sentences can improve the flow between paragraphs, making your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Break complex ideas into more manageable paragraphs to enhance readability. This will help maintain focus on each of your points.
general
A careful proofreading could further eliminate minor grammatical errors, enhancing the professional quality of your essay.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view, considering both the advantages and disadvantages of older people working.
task achievement
Your essay includes a considerate conclusion that reflects on the broader implications of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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