When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Most of the
time
, work
is an obligation for people
in a
society. So, it's obvious that most of the community prefer a Correct article usage
apply
life
without working. I would prefer a life
without working as well. If I don't
have to work
, I would
have lots of free Verb problem
apply
times
to spend Fix the agreement mistake
time
it
on Correct pronoun usage
apply
what so ever
I like.
In a Correct your spelling
whatever
life
without working, people
don't
need to wake up early as a force. People
will have a better physically
and Change the word
physical
mentally
situation just because they don'Change the word
mental
t
have to work
under pressure and stress. Furthermore
, they would have more time
for excercising
and meditating to make sure about the quality of their health. Parents would have more Correct your spelling
exercising
time
to spend with their children and focus on their education and their manner
. In Fix the agreement mistake
manners
future
society Correct article usage
the future
would
have normal children with good mental health just because they had enough Wrong verb form
will
time
to spend critical
era of their Correct article usage
a critical
life
with their parents.
However
, living without a job
is not possible. Life
has expences
that can be provided only through an appropriate Correct your spelling
expenses
job
. Only a few people
who have wealthy parents can leave and enjoy their life
without working. Normal people
need to work
as a daily routine to have money for living. On the other hand
, how would it be our life
without a job
? There would be no purpose and passion to make progress. There would be no goal to achieve. Job
is something necessary to keep us busy with
and try harder to reach our goals. Change preposition
apply
Job
brings ambition and with being ambitious we want to have more and more stuff in our Add an article
The job
A job
life
. This
is what makes us have
progress in our Unnecessary verb
apply
life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Although
working is not delighful
for everyone and we see it as a must in our Correct your spelling
delightful
life
, it's needful for continuing the
Correct article usage
apply
life
and not being bored with it. In this
case, it has been always recommended to have a job
that poeple
won'Correct your spelling
people
t
find is
boring and Unnecessary verb
apply
they
enjoy Correct word choice
that they
while
they are doing it. So that job
would be fun and delightful to continue.Submitted by maryamnikfekr on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a broader range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. While you've made a good effort, utilizing a wider variety could enhance readability and coherence.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. Your current examples are relevant, but adding more detail could strengthen your position and make your essay more compelling.
general
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as they can impact the overall professionalism and clarity of your writing. A quick review or using spell check can help identify these errors.
introduction conclusion
Your essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, providing a clear stance on the issue.
logical structure
You have done a good job structuring your essay, with paragraphs that logically progress from one idea to the next.
supported main points
Your discussion includes a balanced view, considering both the advantages and disadvantages of working, which enriches your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.