IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided diagrams illustrate the changes that have occurred in Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to the present.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of the facilities in the
park
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 have been redeveloped, and all the seating has been relocated to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
park
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.
Initially
Linking Words
, there were three rose gardens in 1920, but now only one remains. It is notable that the fountain, which was originally in the middle of Grange
Park
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, has been transformed into a rose garden surrounded by four seats. To the left of the
park
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, the stage previously used by musicians has been replaced with an
amphitheater
Change the spelling
amphitheatre
show examples
 for concerts. Upon entering from Eldon Street, visitors will notice a new water feature to the left, adjacent to the entrance of the underground car
park
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a café has been established at the Arnold Avenue entrance, which took the place of one of the rose gardens. Adjacent to the café is a children's play area, which was formerly a pond for aquatic plants.
Submitted by h14030013 on

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structure
Ensure a clear, well-structured overview is provided at the beginning or end of your writing, summarizing the main changes without going into too much detail initially.
detail
Expand on the comparison between past and present to enhance the depth of your analysis, highlighting not just what changed but perhaps suggesting how these changes impact the park's usage or appearance.
cohesion
Try to link ideas and paragraphs more clearly with a range of cohesive devices; this will make your writing flow better and be more coherent.
content
You effectively reported on the significant changes in the park, accurately pinpointing developments and demolitions.
detail
Use of specific examples to indicate changes (e.g., fountain transformed into a rose garden) makes your descriptions vivid and clear.
introduction
Your introductory sentence sets a good context for the essay, aligning readers with the subject matter effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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