Some people feel that learning a foreign language is an essential component of a child's education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning technology and other vocational subjects

People have different
perception
Fix the agreement mistake
perceptions
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when it comes to their
children
's education. Some want them to learn at least one foreign
language
as that will help them in their
overall
development
whereas
, others believe that
instead
of focussing on a
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
new
language
,
children
should put all their efforts
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
learning the trade courses that are available in their nation as
this
will help them to have a better career in future. The world is becoming a global village
now-a-days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
. People are migrating from one country to another in search of a better life.
For example
, people from developing countries like India are shifting to
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries where they can have a better standard of life.
This
is one of the main reasons parents prefer their
child
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children
show examples
to learn a
language
like English as
majority
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the majority
a majority
show examples
of the population of the world understands
this
language
. On the other side, some believe that
children
should focus
learning
Change preposition
on learning
show examples
technology and other trades like mechanics as these will provide them with a good job opportunity and they will have a better and
safe
Correct word choice
safer
show examples
future.
For instance
, a child will learn all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
about being a tradesperson from his high school, if he is confident about
his
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the
show examples
career that he opted for. The gist of the matter is that parent's plans for their
children
's future matter a lot. If they want them to settle in other countries, they will prefer them to be proficient in another
language
but if they want them to be around their own cities, they will prefer them to be involved in vocational studies.
Submitted by kiran.deep24 on

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Development of Ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas more effectively by providing more varied and detailed examples. This will help in supporting your arguments more strongly.
Paragraphing and Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and a logical sequence. While your essay shows a good structure, making this more explicit can enhance clarity.
Language Use
Consider exploring a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enrich your essay. While the vocabulary used is appropriate, more variety could demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Task Response
You've effectively covered the essay topic, providing a balanced view on the importance of learning a foreign language versus focusing on vocational subjects.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your essay and summarizing your main points.
Use of Examples
You've made good use of examples to support your points, which helps in making your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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