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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four ASEAN countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four ASEAN countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asean #countries #cities #predictions #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line graph explains
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 people living in four ASEAN cities from 1970 to 2020
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
prediction
Correct article usage
the prediction
show examples
 between 2030 and 2040. In general, the
percentage
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
 in Malaysia, Indonesia and Thailand increased.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 decreased.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the first
period
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, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in Malaysia was bigger than
others
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, in 1990, in Malaysia growth slightly at almost 50%.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 will be predicted
rise
Fix the infinitive
to rise
show examples
 in 2040
at
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to
show examples
 80%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in Indonesia, in 1970, the
population
Use synonyms
 at around 12%,
then
Linking Words
 in the next year in 1990 jumped
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost 30%. In
Indonesia
Add a comma
Indonesia,
show examples
 the
population
Use synonyms
 will be picked up
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 at
almost
Add an article
an almost
the almost
show examples
 doubled
percentage
Use synonyms
 (60%). As same as in Thailand, the total people
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the year at around 20%,
then
Linking Words
 climbed
10
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to 10
show examples
% in 1990. Next
period
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, the
population
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 will be reached
at
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apply
show examples
approximately 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the total
population
Use synonyms
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in 1970 at 30%,
then
Linking Words
 in 1990, it
risen
Add the auxiliary verb
rose
has risen
show examples
 slightly
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost 50%.
However
Linking Words
, in the next
period
Use synonyms
 in 2010 decreased significantly to 40%. And the
last
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
 will reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
50% total
population
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, population, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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