IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In countries all over the world, the volume of road traffic is increasing at a faster rate than new roads are built. What are the causes of this problem? What are some potential solutions?

In the modern era, some nations are experiencing an acceleration in the rise of
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion.
This
Linking Words
 difficulty has numerous reasons and abundant solutions, as well which I'm going to explain more about in the rest of
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, theories abound about what raises the rate of
traffic
Use synonyms
. Millions of vehicles are being manufactured daily.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the costs of
automibiles
Correct your spelling
automobiles
 drop and more and more people purchase
cars
Use synonyms
 which can lead to environmental catastrophes
in addition
Linking Words
 to deteriorating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
For example
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, about 2 million
cars
Use synonyms
 were produced in 2023 in Iran which has
twiced
Correct your spelling
twice
 the number of
cars
Use synonyms
 on the road in the country and
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 is getting forgotten by the community. Each bus can accommodate about 40 people
while
Linking Words
 if every one of them
commute
Change the verb form
commutes
show examples
 with their own vehicles, routes will be crowded 40 times more
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 before. Despite causing a lot of problems, there are several solutions to them.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Governments should raise the costs of owning a car and entice individuals away from having one.
Secondly
Linking Words
, society should be drawn into using public transportation to commute to work and home and
this
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 can be reached by cheapening the prices of bus and subway tickets.
Thirdly
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, cycling and walking should be promoted among disparate members of society
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 the youth. In
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
,
For instance
Linking Words
, schools and cartoons extensively tout cycling among children at schools and gift them bikes.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the problem of widespread
traffic
Use synonyms
 can not be solved until governments and societies cooperate and use alternatives to
cars
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your ideas are clearly structured within paragraphs, ensuring each has a clear main idea and logical supporting sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Diversify your sentence structures and use a range of linking words to enhance flow and readability.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task thoroughly to ensure a complete response. Expand on your ideas where possible to fully develop your arguments.
Language Use
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and to demonstrate your language ability.
Content
Excellent job providing specific examples to support your arguments, which helps in making your essay more persuasive.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, establishing a clear framework for your essay and summarizing your main points effectively.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic
  • road
  • population
  • vehicles
  • convenience
  • economic
  • develop
  • afford
  • shopping
  • delivery
  • public transport
  • reliable
  • drive
  • urban planning
  • congestion
  • narrow
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