IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.
Above
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The above
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 provided bar graph illustrates the three categories namely
Agriculture
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,
Industry
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 and
Services
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 affecting
to
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apply
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India's gross domestic product in
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period
Correct article usage
the period
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 from 1960
till
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to
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 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that all of them underwent significant changes over the whole
period
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. Both the
Industry
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 and
Services
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 sectors are experiencing a drastic increase, the
agriculture
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 sector on its term having the opposite trend and witnessing reduction. First
thing
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things
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 first the
Industry
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 and
Services
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 divisions are the ones that are having a growing pattern during the whole timeframe. The
Services
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 sector
were encountering
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encountered
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant rise throughout the years
and
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apply
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becoming
uppermost
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the most
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 used one and
occupied
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occupying
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 the top of the list. The
industry
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 was having
noticeable
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a noticeable
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 increase up to
1980
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the 1980
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 year and standstill
at
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in
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 the same range up until the preliminary
period
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.
While
Linking Words
 both
other
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others
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were having
Wrong verb form
had
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 positive momentum during the provided
period
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the
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apply
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agriculture
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 was rapidly sliding down.
Although
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the
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apply
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agriculture
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 was the leading sector it became the second by 1990 and eventually the
last
Linking Words
 toward
to
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apply
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2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, industry, services, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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