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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
The pie charts illustrate
rate
Add an article
the rate
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 of
visitors
Fix the agreement mistake
visitor
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 satisfaction after and before
of
Correct article usage
the of
show examples
 refurbishment in museum.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 people who were Satisfied increased
while
Linking Words
 the number of Dissatisfied decreased during
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 periods. Regarding the statistics what stands out from the schemes is that Very satisfied people stood at 15% before refurbishment and
then
Linking Words
 showed 35% which means that, it had a tremendous growth of 20%. Satisfied individuals
also
Linking Words
 rose remarkably from 30% to 40% at the same time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Very dissatisfied persons had 10% and fell noticeably by 5% after renovation. Focusing on
Dissatisfied
Correct article usage
the Dissatisfied
show examples
 sector
clarify
Correct subject-verb agreement
clarifies
show examples
 that they had 40% before reconstruction and dropped dramatically to 15% after renewing
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, what is interesting about
survey
Add an article
the survey
show examples
 is that
No
Correct article usage
the No
show examples
 response part remained at the same level
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5% at the beginning and end of the modification.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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