Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease,goverments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extnet do you agree or disagree?

It is said that governments should pay attention to decreasing the pollution of the environment and housing issues in order to protect citizens from disease and illness.Perhaps,some individuals consider that solution is not useful as these diseases can

also

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be caused by

gene

Fix the agreement mistake

genes

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This

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writer will discuss both views and give my own opinion in

this

Linking Words

essay.

To begin

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with,bad life conditions and pollution are

Correct your spelling

one

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of the main causes leading to illnesses.It can be seen that

people

Use synonyms

in contact regularly with pollutants have their health more and more weakened.To illustrate,SO2 and CO2 in the air make

people

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more easily get lung cancer and

also

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nose,and breathing problems.

Additionally

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,living in a dirty condition and places where there are many

people

Use synonyms

stayed

Wrong verb form

staying

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on makes chances for the pandemic to spread more quickly.

For example

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,during the COVID-19 pandemic,medical organisations gave advice that citizens must make a gap of about 2 meters with other

people

Use synonyms

in order to

decline

Verb problem

reduce

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the spreading rate. There are many harmful diseases that are caused by genes in the family.

In other words

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, genetic disorders occur when a mutation affects genes or when having the wrong amount of genetic material.

As a consequence

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, newborn babies get into some genetic disorders,

for instance

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: Blood cancer,Downbase and HIV.The common theme between them is no use of cure,and can easily spread through generations in one family.The government cannot solve these kinds of problems by decreasing life conditions because these factors do not have an effect on inheritable diseases. In conclusion,not only polluted

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

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and housing problems have a harmful effect on human health ,but

also

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the genetic factors

Apr 22, 2024

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introduction

Your essay presents a balanced view on the issue, discussing both sides of the argument effectively. However, the introduction could be more engaging and provide a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main argument.

coherence

The body paragraphs effectively discuss both viewpoints and provide examples, but the connection between your ideas can be strengthened. Using more cohesive devices (e.g., consequently, furthermore, in addition) could help improve the flow of your essay.

conclusion

Your conclusion summarizes the essay well, but it could be improved by more clearly stating your own opinion on the issue. Remember that a strong conclusion reinforces your stance and provides a concise summary of your arguments.

body content

Consider elaborating more on your examples and how they support your argument. Providing more detail and specific instances can strengthen your essay by demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.

balanced argument

You successfully discuss both sides of the argument, providing a balanced viewpoint.

examples

Good use of examples to illustrate your points, although more detail could be added.

structure

Overall, your essay is logically structured and easy to follow, with each paragraph clearly focused on a single main idea.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease,goverments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extnet do you agree or disagree?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular nowadays. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this format?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in.

Big family has more benefits than living in small family.