Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease,goverments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extnet do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #goverments #focus #pollution #extnet

It is said that governments should pay attention to decreasing the pollution of the environment and housing issues in order to protect citizens from disease and illness.Perhaps,some individuals consider that solution is not useful as these diseases can

also

be caused by

gene

Fix the agreement mistake

genes

show examples

This

writer will discuss both views and give my own opinion in

this

essay.

To begin

with,bad life conditions and pollution are

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

of the main causes leading to illnesses.It can be seen that

people

in contact regularly with pollutants have their health more and more weakened.To illustrate,SO2 and CO2 in the air make

people

more easily get lung cancer and

also

nose,and breathing problems.

Additionally

,living in a dirty condition and places where there are many

people

stayed

Wrong verb form

staying

show examples

on makes chances for the pandemic to spread more quickly.

For example

,during the COVID-19 pandemic,medical organisations gave advice that citizens must make a gap of about 2 meters with other

people

in order to

decline

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

the spreading rate. There are many harmful diseases that are caused by genes in the family.

In other words

, genetic disorders occur when a mutation affects genes or when having the wrong amount of genetic material.

As a consequence

, newborn babies get into some genetic disorders,

for instance

: Blood cancer,Downbase and HIV.The common theme between them is no use of cure,and can easily spread through generations in one family.The government cannot solve these kinds of problems by decreasing life conditions because these factors do not have an effect on inheritable diseases. In conclusion,not only polluted

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

and housing problems have a harmful effect on human health ,but

also

the genetic factors

Mon Apr 22 2024

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introduction

Your essay presents a balanced view on the issue, discussing both sides of the argument effectively. However, the introduction could be more engaging and provide a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main argument.

coherence

The body paragraphs effectively discuss both viewpoints and provide examples, but the connection between your ideas can be strengthened. Using more cohesive devices (e.g., consequently, furthermore, in addition) could help improve the flow of your essay.

conclusion

Your conclusion summarizes the essay well, but it could be improved by more clearly stating your own opinion on the issue. Remember that a strong conclusion reinforces your stance and provides a concise summary of your arguments.

body content

Consider elaborating more on your examples and how they support your argument. Providing more detail and specific instances can strengthen your essay by demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.

balanced argument

You successfully discuss both sides of the argument, providing a balanced viewpoint.

examples

Good use of examples to illustrate your points, although more detail could be added.

structure

Overall, your essay is logically structured and easy to follow, with each paragraph clearly focused on a single main idea.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease,goverments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extnet do you agree or disagree?

Many government think that economic progress is their most important goal. some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Nowadays, many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problem can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep ?

In many countries, plastic bags are one the main sources of damage to the environment, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only person traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers.