IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
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Recently,
alternative
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medicines
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 and
treatments
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becoming
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 more popular rather than visiting
usual
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a usual
the usual
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 doctor. In my
oponion
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opinion
,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative
develpoment
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development
 because it
show
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shows
show examples
 the
quality
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 of
health
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service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 and
unaffordable
Add a missing verb
is unaffordable
show examples
 for
peopple
Correct your spelling
people
 to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
medication
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. The increasing number of
people
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 consuming
alternative
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medicines
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 shows the
quality
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 of
health
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 services. It can be said that before going to use
alternative
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medicines
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people
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 usually go to
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
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 or doctor to solve their
health
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problems
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.
Due to
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 the fact that these attempts are costly and
people
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 do not find the solution, they
then
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 consume
alternative
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medicines
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. In many cases,
this
Linking Words
 kind of
medication
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resolve
Correct subject-verb agreement
resolves
show examples
 their
problems
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that
Correct word choice
and
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bring
Verb problem
makes
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 more
people
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 want to do the same.
Therefore
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, it is important to note that
this
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practice
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 is an alarm for
health
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 services to increase their
quality
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
alternative
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 medicine and
treatments
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 tend to be more affordable compared to doctor's
recipe
Fix the agreement mistake
recipes
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. Since
people
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, particularly from low-income families, cannot access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
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,
alternative
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medicines
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 and treatment are the most possible way to solve their
health
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problems
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. In many developing countries,
alternative
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treatments
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 regarded as
traditional
Add an article
a traditional
the traditional
show examples
 way to resolve
health
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problems
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. There are many places where
this
Linking Words
practice
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, usually older than modern
medication
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,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more popular because more cheaper
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 modern
medication
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
patiens
Correct your spelling
patients
 of
this
Linking Words
 kind of
health
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practice
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 can inform their family and others to do the same when
pacing
Correct your spelling
facing
show examples
health
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problems
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. In conclusion, the rising number of
people
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 visiting
alternative
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medicines
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 and
treatments
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 is a negative development because it is a
practice
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 that
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
 the
quality
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 of
health
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 services and
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 that modern
medication
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 should pay
attenttion
Correct your spelling
attention
 to the cost that
frequently
Add a missing verb
is frequently
show examples
 more expensive than
alternative
Use synonyms
medicines
Use synonyms
 and
treatments
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by salwafahanim on

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coherence cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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