Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a hot topic nowadays about big companies and their investments in
peoples
lives. A lot of Change noun form
people's
people
think that companies must spend their money to provide different sport
and social facilities for local Fix the agreement mistake
sports
people
.
In my opinion, this
is a good initiative. As the first positive outcome of this
I can say that Add a comma
this,
such
things may increase
health
and happiness of Correct article usage
the health
people
in
particular
area. If Add an article
a particular
people
spend their free time in parks, gyms, pools or dancing classes, they have a good time and may refresh their thoughts. This
may lead to productivity
Correct article usage
a productivity
increase
provided people
are healthy and happy. For the second reason of providing facilities, I can say that good
environment may Correct article usage
a good
increase
the interest from
potential employees. Change preposition
of
Lets
imagine a person who wants to find a new job and relocate to a new place. Replace the word
Let's
Let us
This
candidate may compare all possible options including company’s
rating, office location, Correct article usage
the company’s
potential
Correct word choice
and potential
apartment’s
location. In Change noun form
apartment
this
case, employer
that provides some extra looks better Add an article
an employer
the employer
comparing
to other ones.
Wrong verb form
compared
In
the other Change preposition
On
hands
, it may be a bit Fix the agreement mistake
hand
upset
for some sensitive Replace the word
upsetting
people
. They may think that the company stole their money and built unnecessary facilities that they do not want to use. Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
this
some Add a comma
this,
people
think that this
is only government’s
responsibility to Correct article usage
the government’s
increase
level
of living.
Add an article
the level
As
Change preposition
In
a
Correct article usage
apply
conclusion
I can say that initiatives like providing sports and social environments are generally good. In most cases they make Add a comma
conclusion,
people
’s routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
live
easier Verb problem
apply
therefore
they can invest more in companies successSubmitted by s_syedy on
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Task Achievement
To further improve, ensure that your main points are not only clear but are supported by a wide range of specific examples and data when possible. This strengthens the argument and makes it more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Expanding on the counter-argument with more detail and reflection would enhance the balance of your discussion. This deepens the complexity of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider linking ideas more explicitly between paragraphs. Transition phrases or sentences can guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Well-structured essay with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support your main points — this makes your argument more tangible.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed the topic and provided a clear stance on the issue, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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