Nowadays we a surrounded by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#lives #people #effect #society #development

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In recent

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

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high

Correct article usage

a high

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density of advertising

permeate

Wrong verb form

has permeated

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morden

Correct your spelling

modern

society. Some

people

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advocate

this

Linking Words

situation shows how high of economic development of

city

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the city

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Add a missing verb

is, However

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However

Linking Words

, other

people

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maintain that male urban ugly. In

this

Linking Words

essay will debate both sides of the controversial issue and give my own opinion. On the first hand,

people

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claim advertising around

city

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the city

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has

Correct article usage

an advantage

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advantage

Correct article usage

an advantage

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factor

Correct your spelling

show examples

Correct your spelling

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that the density level of advertising

illustrated

Wrong verb form

illustrates

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the level of

economy

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the economy

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This

Linking Words

is because if the city has

huge

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a huge

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market,

Correct article usage

the businey

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businey

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business

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

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to pay more money to

creat

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create

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more special and higher quality

product

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products

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to attract

customer

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customers

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation, they will help industry development and

make

Verb problem

create

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more job opportunities,

such

Linking Words

as designer, film and television industry.

For example

Linking Words

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Tokyo which one of the biggest finance in the world, they

has

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have

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advertising

Change the verb form

advertised

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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everywhere but

for

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show examples

stimulate

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stimulating

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consumers, the majority of advertising

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

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to be interesting and attractive. In

this

Linking Words

case, high advertising is one of the features

shows

Wrong verb form

showing

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economy

Correct article usage

the economy

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morden

Correct your spelling

modern

cities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

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deem advertising will make urban look messy

due to

Linking Words

that design fro attract

people

Use synonyms

usually

Correct pronoun usage

there usually

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need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

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to be

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

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contrast in color and large fonts.

In addition

Linking Words

, if they put

Replace the word

too

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much advertising on

Use synonyms

street

Correct article usage

the street

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will destroy the historical atmosphere exuded by the buildings on the original

street

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For instance

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some cities have historical

Use synonyms

street

Fix the agreement mistake

streets

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and have a lot of tourists

visit

Wrong verb form

visiting

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Therefore

Linking Words

, when

market

Correct article usage

a market

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happen

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happens

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in there, they will use advertising to catch

peoples

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people's

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attention.

However

Linking Words

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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events will influence the special atmosphere that originally existed in the

street

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. In combustion, advertising around our environment has

different

Add an article

a different

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judge. Some

people

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believe

that is

Linking Words

one of

important

Correct article usage

the important

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part

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parts

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shows

Wrong verb form

show

show examples

Correct article usage

the economic

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economic

Replace the word

economy

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morden

Correct your spelling

modern

cities but other

people

Use synonyms

think it will harm

urban

Add an article

the urban

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atmosphere. Based on my own advocate, high density of advertising has

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

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more than

pasetive

Correct your spelling

positive

passive

This

Linking Words

is because it

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

urban more problems

such

Linking Words

ugly

Add a missing verb

being ugly

show examples

, messy and overstimulating.

Thus

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

need to control advertising in our environment.

Submitted by jcafe2177 on Mon Apr 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Clarity

Work on clarity and precision in your writing. Some sentences are convoluted which can confuse readers. Try to simplify your language for better understanding.

Thesis Statement

Focus on developing a clear thesis statement in your introduction to guide your readers through your argument.

Conclusion

Expand your conclusion to clearly state your opinion and succinctly summarize the key points of your argument.

Structure

Improve your essay's structure by clearly distinguishing between paragraphs and ideas. This helps in maintaining a logical flow throughout.

Grammar and Spelling

Pay close attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors in these areas can hinder effective communication of your ideas. Consider using tools or resources to help with proofreading.

Supporting Examples

Provided examples to support your points, enhancing the overall persuasiveness of your essay.

Balanced Discussion

Acknowledged and discussed both sides of the argument, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
58
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Advertising
Consumer spending
Informative
Economic growth
Free content
Media
Over-commercialization
Materialistic values
Vulnerable groups
Misleading information
Information overload
Decision fatigue
Artificial needs
Overspending
Regulations
Consumer education

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Nowadays we a surrounded by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.