IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are studying a short course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider. There is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter, say what the problem is describe the accommodation you thought you were getting ask the provider to solve the problem

#course #country #accommodation #provider
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my disappointment with the type of
accommodation
 provided by your institution. My name is Sameer Rana, an international student
I.D
Change preposition
with I.D
show examples
 number XX077, studying the fast-tracked English
programm
Correct your spelling
program
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Seneca College. From the beginning of the course, I
am
Verb problem
have
show examples
finding
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
 it difficult to focus on my
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 because I have been provided a shared
accommodation
 with two
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 students. My
roomates
Correct your spelling
roommates
roommate
 stay up all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night playing music,
video
Correct word choice
and video
show examples
 games. The
cocophony
Correct your spelling
cacophony
 makes it quixotic for me to study. The preeminent reason I
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 your college
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 a private
accommodation
 was included in the fees.
This
 forced me to proceed forward with your college. I expected it to be a small, private room where I
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 focus on
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 and
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live peacefully. At
last
, I want you to request
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 please arrange
Change preposition
for me
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
accommodation
 as soon as possible. I am attaching my
fees
Change the noun form
fee
show examples
 receipt for your reference. As my request is urgent please give
this
 matter your immediate attention. Yours Faithfully, Sameer Rana.
Submitted by sameer.rn9596 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider using more specific examples or elaborations on the accommodation issues for even clearer task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Review the use of complex words to ensure accuracy and avoid any potential confusion. For instance, 'cocophony' might be a typo for 'cacophony'.
coherence cohesion
Keep paragraphs focused, but also aim to link them more smoothly to enhance flow. Using transition words or phrases can help achieve this.
task achievement
You have effectively raised the complaint, outlined your expectations, and requested a resolution, which meets the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The letter follows a clear structure, with a proper greeting, development of the issue, and a closing that adds to its coherence and cohesion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: