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Band 5.5

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#world #place #years #governments #amounts #money #forces
Many people believe that
,
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 considering the relative security in today's globe compared to a century ago, it is wasteful to devote enormous quantities of money to the military. I disagree with
this
 viewpoint, though, as it is still essential to have a balanced military presence in the international arena. Governments spend billions on their armed
forces
 as a precaution against possible foreign power dominance challenges. Maintaining national security requires the military's capabilities to be continuously developed. A country would be weaker and less advantaged than others if its armed
forces
 and equipment were not updated. Regular developments in armament force governments to adapt in order to remain relevant and retain deterrence.
For example
, the weak military might of many African nations makes them dependent on assistance from some Asian states, making it difficult for them to fight on their own. In conclusion, in order for countries to demonstrate their power and continue to play an important part in the international community, they must prioritize investing in their armed
forces
. Strengthening one's armed
forces
 is preferable to running the risk of being sidelined internationally. In order to protect their interests in a constantly changing global environment, nations must make prudent investments to ensure their influence and security.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Examples and Support
Continue to develop specific examples further to support your arguments, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.
Clear Position
Maintain a clear stance throughout your essay, as this strengthens your argument and makes your writing more persuasive.
Paragraphing and Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a separate main idea, to improve readability and effectiveness.
Introduction and Conclusion
Excellent use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your argument.
Logical Flow
Good job maintaining logical flow between paragraphs, demonstrating strong coherence.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples to support your main points, though they can be further developed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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