IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Most contemporary economies have cultivated the self-employment model, which appears very tempting for many.
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However
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However,
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 the vast majority of society adheres to the old-fashioned hierarchy system.
This
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 essay will elaborate
the
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on the
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 key factors as to why some might prefer entrepreneurship and
major
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the major
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 drawbacks to it. One of the prime driving forces for people to start their own company is that they long for
the
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a
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 sense of control which can be followed by many other factors
such
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 as
:
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apply
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 better income and more flexible hours.
Besides
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 the fact that owning your own business
bring
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brings
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 a sense of luxury and prestige.
Furthermore
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,
they
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there
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 are many bank loans that accommodate starters with a huge budget
to begin
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 their
lucretive
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lucrative
creative
 journey.
For instance
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, Russia has one
the
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of the
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 most profitable bank policies for junior business owners.
However
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, lack of guidance is one of the obvious downsides of
this
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 complex journey that should not be neglected. When an individual decides to work for
his
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him
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 or herself, the responsibility for any type of failure will be all his or hers.
In
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On
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 these occasions, people tend to feel lost and on their own which can lead to possible bankruptcies.
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, as the founder, they might have to carry the burden of many roles in the company all by themselves;
therefore
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, they should be aware of every aspect of each and every job. Take Steve Jobs as an example; he had to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the tasks of both a designer and a full-time project manager. In a nutshell,
the
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apply
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entrepreneurship has its ups and downs which many consider not worth risking their job security.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are developed comprehensively. Integrating more nuanced examples can strengthen the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim for more variety in sentence structures and transition phrases to enhance readability and flow. This helps in achieving higher coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Be cautious of making broad generalizations without sufficient evidence. Adding more specific data or case studies could bolster your claims.
Coherence & Cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both aspects of the prompt, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
Task Achievement
Using examples like the policy in Russia and mentioning Steve Jobs enriches your essay by providing concrete evidence to support your points.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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