Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Most contemporary economies have cultivated the self-employment model, which appears very tempting for many.
However
the vast majority of society adheres to the old-fashioned hierarchy system. Add a comma
However,
This
essay will elaborate the
key factors as to why some might prefer entrepreneurship and Change preposition
on the
major
drawbacks to it.
One of the prime driving forces for people to start their own company is that they long for Correct article usage
the major
the
sense of control which can be followed by many other factors Correct article usage
a
such
as:
better income and more flexible hours. Remove the comma
apply
Besides
the fact that owning your own business bring
a sense of luxury and prestige. Change the verb form
brings
Furthermore
, they
are many bank loans that accommodate starters with a huge budget Correct pronoun usage
there
to begin
their lucretive
journey. Correct your spelling
lucrative
creative
For instance
, Russia has one the
most profitable bank policies for junior business owners.
Change preposition
of the
However
, lack of guidance is one of the obvious downsides of this
complex journey that should not be neglected. When an individual decides to work for his
or herself, the responsibility for any type of failure will be all his or hers. Correct pronoun usage
him
In
these occasions, people tend to feel lost and on their own which can lead to possible bankruptcies. Change preposition
On
Besides
, as the founder, they might have to carry the burden of many roles in the company all by themselves; therefore
, they should be aware of every aspect of each and every job. Take Steve Jobs as an example; he had to fulfill
the tasks of both a designer and a full-time project manager.
In a nutshell, Change the spelling
fulfil
the
entrepreneurship has its ups and downs which many consider not worth risking their job security.Correct article usage
apply
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Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are developed comprehensively. Integrating more nuanced examples can strengthen the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim for more variety in sentence structures and transition phrases to enhance readability and flow. This helps in achieving higher coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Be cautious of making broad generalizations without sufficient evidence. Adding more specific data or case studies could bolster your claims.
Coherence & Cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both aspects of the prompt, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
Task Achievement
Using examples like the policy in Russia and mentioning Steve Jobs enriches your essay by providing concrete evidence to support your points.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...