IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to the local council about plans to close a children's playground in your area in your letter, you should: -say why children are not using the playground -Explain how important the playground is for the local community -Suggest how the playground could be improved

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, As a long-term resident
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the Mayflower district, I am willing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to express my opposition to the proposed closure of the play
area
Use synonyms
 situated on Drake Road and to suggest how it might be improved for the benefit of local children. It is true that few currently use the facilities, but
that is
Linking Words
 because they are old and poorly maintained.
For Example
Linking Words
, two of the swings are broken, the climbing frame is rusty and the
area
Use synonyms
 of the foot of the slide is always muddy. We should not forget,
however
Linking Words
, that many young families live in the
area
Use synonyms
, and their offspring need a space where they can enjoy outdoor recreation
instead
Linking Words
 of spending their time in front of screens. I would suggest that the council not only repairs what is currently there
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 modernises the
area
Use synonyms
 by installing new recreational facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as a playhouse for younger children and a
clibing
Correct your spelling
climbing
 wall for older ones. Investing in our children's social
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
dphysical
Correct your spelling
physical
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 way can only lead to a better future for our community. Yours faithfully, Alex Roberts

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Try to vary your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical constructions.
cohesion
Consider integrating more transitional phrases to fluidly connect your ideas, enhancing the letter's cohesion.
content
Although your examples are relevant, adding more specific data or statistics could strengthen your argument.
task response
You clearly addressed each bullet point of the task, providing specific suggestions for improvement.
coherence
The letter has a good logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic.
tone
The use of a polite and formal tone is appropriate for writing to the local council.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: