Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you echo or disagree?

Some argue that free volunteer work should be mandatory for high school. In my opinion, I agree with
this
approach because it strengthens the bond between people and
also
fosters a sense of
responsibility
. The most axiomatic argument about forcing children into free
community
service
is that not only does it encourage
students
to build lasting relationships, but they
also
gain a better understanding of empathy and compassion. In fact, today, thanks to the advancement of technology, most
students
prefer to spend their time on social media rather than making new friends.
Therefore
, working for charity can be an incentive to establish communication between
students
and different people, especially senior citizens. Another compelling support for
this
approach is engaging in
community
service
can foster a sense of social
responsibility
and civic engagement in young people, which is an essential quality for becoming well-rounded individuals. In fact, many
community
service
projects require collaboration and teamwork to achieve common goals. By working
together with
peers,
community
members, and organization leaders,
students
learn the importance of cooperation, communication, and shared
responsibility
in making a positive impact. In conclusion, by participating in unpaid
community
services,
students
can cultivate a sense of and
responsibility
towards
service
and
also
instil important values
such
as helping, empathy, kindness throughout their lives. Relying on the mentioned justifications, I reaffirm my stand.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

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Language Use
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Argument Depth
Consider including counterarguments to your main points, and then offer your refutation. This approach can enrich your essay by showing a deeper understanding of the topic and demonstrating your ability to engage with opposing viewpoints.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and your stance, creating a clear direction for your argument.
Coherence
The connection between paragraphs and ideas is smooth, contributing to a well-organized and cohesive essay.
Content Detail
You successfully elaborated on how community service fosters a sense of responsibility and empathy, using relevant examples and a logical argumentation structure.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your points and reaffirms your stance, effectively closing the essay on a strong note.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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