Some organization believe that their employee should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appliance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many
organizations
have demanding to
their employees to Wrong verb form
demanded
dress
in some way
most of the time in job
office where the workers are exposed to see and interact with the client. Correct article usage
the job
This
had been very common in the 80's until some years ago, after the global pandemic jobs have experience
a big change related to their Change the verb form
experienced
members
Change to a genitive case
member's
members'
behavior
.
On one hand, there are Change the spelling
behaviour
organizations
mainly in financial
and banking Correct article usage
the financial
sector
, these have been known as exclusive
Add an article
an exclusive
the exclusive
sector
where people used to Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
dress
smartly and clients related
Wrong verb form
relate
this
way
to dress
with more professionalism and quality of job, for example
in Colombia when you have a meeting with direct committe
always you must Correct your spelling
committee
dress
smartly. But, it is important to mention that this
trend is changing due to
the pandemic and the flexibility in schedules are
allowing Correct subject-verb agreement
is
that
many companies Correct word choice
apply
change
their politics and let their employees Fix the infinitive
to change
to
Change the verb form
apply
dress
in Correct article usage
a businness
businness
casual Correct your spelling
business
way
.
On the other hand
, it is very common to value the work instead
of the way
they dress
in tech
Add an article
the tech
sector
that phenomenon happened because in this
sector
is not common that
developers or engineers Change preposition
for
interact
with the client face-to-face Fix the infinitive
to interact
thi
is one reason Correct your spelling
this
for
the Change preposition
apply
organizations
not to be aware about
the Change the preposition
of
way
they dress
, for example
in google people can dress
in the way
they want or feel comfortable.
To conclude
, organizations
as
how they Correct word choice
and
were
met are changing as Wrong verb form
are
result
of, the demanding of Add an article
a result
laborer
Fix the agreement mistake
laborers
want
more flexibility and feel comfortable in Correct pronoun usage
who want
the
daily routine, in my Change the word
their
opinion
is important to have a balance and be attentive Add the comma(s)
opinion,
on
meetings that require people to be well-Change preposition
in
dress
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Introduction/Conclusion
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a conclusion, but the introduction could be improved by directly addressing the essay question. Similarly, your conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing both perspectives and your opinion more clearly.
Paragraphing/Transitions
Try to clearly separate your paragraphs to distinctly discuss each view and your opinion, providing a dedicated paragraph for each. Additionally, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas.
Examples/Support
While you've provided relevant examples, elaborating on these with more detail and analysis would strengthen your argument and further support your main points.
Clarity of Expression
Focus on clarity and precision in expressing your ideas. Some sentences could be clearer and more direct, aiding in the overall understanding of your points.
Use of Examples
You do well to provide specific examples, particularly in discussing the expectations in certain industries like financial and banking sectors, which adds credibility to your arguments.
Relevance of Content
Your essay touches on the impact of the global pandemic on workplace norms, showing an awareness of contemporary issues affecting the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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