Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of imported foods from all around the world. Does this advantage outweigh the disadvantage?
It is generally accepted that imported
foods
are much more popular than local products
in many supermarkets in the modern period. This
essay will demonstrate the different aspects of the benefits of this
situation throughout the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, it is undeniable that the imported vegetables and fruits have better quality than the local. This
is because the overseas industries have a good quality of the systems of how to harvest or keep their products
fresh. Moreover
, people prefer to consume international products
because they trust in
every system from the companies especially Change preposition
apply
it
is 100% safe and clean, which will allow them to live longer with Correct word choice
since it
a
better health.
Remove the article
apply
On the other hand
, local products
have become less popular in
these days because of the agricultural chemicals that they use in farming areas. In Thailand, there are vast of news about how dangerous Change preposition
apply
of
the Change preposition
apply
foods
.
Add a missing verb
are.
This
is because they do not care about their health, they care only about their income, that
is why they prefer to use chemical things to grow the plants. When the plants consume Correct word choice
and that
this
kind of drug, they will grow quicker and they will be more tasty. For instance
, the farmer uses this
drug to make the watermelon bigger than the organic one.
In conclusion, all the reasons mentioned above provide both benefits and drawbacks of the local and imported products
. From my point of view, I would suggest the local farmer to
improve the quality of their Remove the particle
apply
foods
to reach the same level as the international ones by stopping using the chemical stuffs
. Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
In addition
, people will change their mind to support their own home foods
rather than choosing the international ones.Submitted by sasinipapj on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding more variety and complexity to your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.
task achievement
Ensure examples are directly linked to your arguments for clearer illustration of your points. This can further strengthen your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to accuracy in expressing quantities (e.g., 'vast of news' should be 'a vast amount of news'). Minor grammatical errors can distract from the overall quality of your argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider more explicit transitions between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.
task achievement
Effective introduction of topic and clarity of stance in the conclusion helps in presenting a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support arguments, which makes the essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You've managed to structure your essay with a clear beginning, expansion of ideas, and a conclusion, which is commendable.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?