Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of imported foods from all around the world. Does this advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

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It is generally accepted that imported

foods

Use synonyms

are much more popular than local

products

Use synonyms

in many supermarkets in the modern period.

This

Linking Words

essay will demonstrate the different aspects of the benefits of

this

Linking Words

situation throughout the following paragraphs. First and foremost, it is undeniable that the imported vegetables and fruits have better quality than the local.

This

Linking Words

is because the overseas industries have a good quality of the systems of how to harvest or keep their

products

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fresh.

Moreover

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, people prefer to consume international

products

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because they trust

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every system from the companies especially

Correct word choice

since it

show examples

is 100% safe and clean, which will allow them to live longer with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better health.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, local

products

Use synonyms

have become less popular

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days because of the agricultural chemicals that they use in farming areas. In Thailand, there are vast of news about how dangerous

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

foods

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

are.

show examples

This

Linking Words

is because they do not care about their health, they care only about their income,

Linking Words

that

Correct word choice

and that

show examples

is why they prefer to use chemical things to grow the plants. When the plants consume

this

Linking Words

kind of drug, they will grow quicker and they will be more tasty.

For instance

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, the farmer uses

this

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drug to make the watermelon bigger than the organic one. In conclusion, all the reasons mentioned above provide both benefits and drawbacks of the local and imported

products

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. From my point of view, I would suggest the local farmer

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apply

show examples

improve the quality of their

foods

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to reach the same level as the international ones by stopping using the chemical

stuffs

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stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

In addition

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, people will change their mind to support their own home

foods

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rather than choosing the international ones.

sasinipapjTue Apr 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider adding more variety and complexity to your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.

task achievement

Ensure examples are directly linked to your arguments for clearer illustration of your points. This can further strengthen your argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to accuracy in expressing quantities (e.g., 'vast of news' should be 'a vast amount of news'). Minor grammatical errors can distract from the overall quality of your argument.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, consider more explicit transitions between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.

task achievement

Effective introduction of topic and clarity of stance in the conclusion helps in presenting a well-rounded argument.

task achievement

Good use of examples to support arguments, which makes the essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

You've managed to structure your essay with a clear beginning, expansion of ideas, and a conclusion, which is commendable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of imported foods from all around the world. Does this advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

Your opinion

The percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000

Many people believe that mobile phones cause more harms than the benefits and that’s why mobile phones should be restricted? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children’s time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.