Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of imported foods from all around the world. Does this advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

#supermarkets #variety #foods #world #advantage

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It is generally accepted that imported

foods

are much more popular than local

products

in many supermarkets in the modern period.

This

essay will demonstrate the different aspects of the benefits of

this

situation throughout the following paragraphs. First and foremost, it is undeniable that the imported vegetables and fruits have better quality than the local.

This

is because the overseas industries have a good quality of the systems of how to harvest or keep their

products

fresh.

Moreover

, people prefer to consume international

products

because they trust

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every system from the companies especially

Correct word choice

since it

show examples

is 100% safe and clean, which will allow them to live longer with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better health.

On the other hand

, local

products

have become less popular

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days because of the agricultural chemicals that they use in farming areas. In Thailand, there are vast of news about how dangerous

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

foods

Add a missing verb

are.

show examples

This

is because they do not care about their health, they care only about their income,

that

Correct word choice

and that

show examples

is why they prefer to use chemical things to grow the plants. When the plants consume

this

kind of drug, they will grow quicker and they will be more tasty.

For instance

, the farmer uses

this

drug to make the watermelon bigger than the organic one. In conclusion, all the reasons mentioned above provide both benefits and drawbacks of the local and imported

products

. From my point of view, I would suggest the local farmer

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apply

show examples

improve the quality of their

foods

to reach the same level as the international ones by stopping using the chemical

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

In addition

, people will change their mind to support their own home

foods

rather than choosing the international ones.

Submitted by sasinipapj on Tue Apr 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider adding more variety and complexity to your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.

task achievement

Ensure examples are directly linked to your arguments for clearer illustration of your points. This can further strengthen your argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to accuracy in expressing quantities (e.g., 'vast of news' should be 'a vast amount of news'). Minor grammatical errors can distract from the overall quality of your argument.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, consider more explicit transitions between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.

task achievement

Effective introduction of topic and clarity of stance in the conclusion helps in presenting a well-rounded argument.

task achievement

Good use of examples to support arguments, which makes the essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

You've managed to structure your essay with a clear beginning, expansion of ideas, and a conclusion, which is commendable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of imported foods from all around the world. Does this advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

Your opinion

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some say that individuals should pay for their university education. Discuss both of views and give your opinion

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion. ​

Smart devices have put all of the world’s information at our fingertips. The benefits of this development are obvious, but what are the drawbacks?

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 