Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of imported foods from all around the world. Does this advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

It is generally accepted that imported
foods
are much more popular than local
products
in many supermarkets in the modern period.
This
essay will demonstrate the different aspects of the benefits of
this
situation throughout the following paragraphs. First and foremost, it is undeniable that the imported vegetables and fruits have better quality than the local.
This
is because the overseas industries have a good quality of the systems of how to harvest or keep their
products
fresh.
Moreover
, people prefer to consume international
products
because they trust
in
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apply
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every system from the companies especially
it
Correct word choice
since it
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is 100% safe and clean, which will allow them to live longer with
a
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apply
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better health.
On the other hand
, local
products
have become less popular
in
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apply
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these days because of the agricultural chemicals that they use in farming areas. In Thailand, there are vast of news about how dangerous
of
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apply
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the
foods
.
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are.
show examples
This
is because they do not care about their health, they care only about their income,
that
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and that
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is why they prefer to use chemical things to grow the plants. When the plants consume
this
kind of drug, they will grow quicker and they will be more tasty.
For instance
, the farmer uses
this
drug to make the watermelon bigger than the organic one. In conclusion, all the reasons mentioned above provide both benefits and drawbacks of the local and imported
products
. From my point of view, I would suggest the local farmer
to
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improve the quality of their
foods
to reach the same level as the international ones by stopping using the chemical
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
.
In addition
, people will change their mind to support their own home
foods
rather than choosing the international ones.
Submitted by sasinipapj on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding more variety and complexity to your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.
task achievement
Ensure examples are directly linked to your arguments for clearer illustration of your points. This can further strengthen your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to accuracy in expressing quantities (e.g., 'vast of news' should be 'a vast amount of news'). Minor grammatical errors can distract from the overall quality of your argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider more explicit transitions between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.
task achievement
Effective introduction of topic and clarity of stance in the conclusion helps in presenting a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support arguments, which makes the essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You've managed to structure your essay with a clear beginning, expansion of ideas, and a conclusion, which is commendable.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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